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Author Topic: A Categorical & Subjective Review of Ozzfest
Stop14
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 449

posted 28 July 2001 02:59 AM      Profile for Stop14   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
RULED
---------------
Sabbath
Slipknot
Black Label Society
Mudvayne

SUCKED
---------------
Linkin Park
Taproot

SUCKED BEYOND BELIEF
---------------
Crazy Town
Papa Roach

SURPRISED THAT THEY RULED
---------------
Marilyn Manson

DRINKING BEER AT THE TIME
---------------
Union Underground
Disturbed
Project Wyze
(others)

Other categories:

MOST LOVED SONGS
(based on general sing-a-long factor)
---------------
Paranoid - Sabbath
Iron Man - Sabbath
Spit it Out - Slipknot
Beautiful People - Manson
That Papa Roach Song ("losing my sight, losing my mind..." ew)
Black Sabbath - Sabbath
That Linkin Park Song
Wait and Bleed - Slipknot

MOST LOVED LEAD SINGER
---------------
Ozzy, Sabbath (duh!)
Manson (runner up)
#8 (Cory), Slipknot (2nd runner up)

BREAKTHROUGH BAND OF OZZFEST
(in the didn't-know-em-but-like-em category)
---------------
Mudvayne
Black Label Society (runner up)

BEST ROCK-GOD GUITAR POSE
---------------
Zakk Wylde, Black Label Society

BEST MADE-UP ROCK-GOD NAME
---------------
Zakk Wylde, Black Label Soceity
Marilyn Manson (Runner Up)

BIG DUMB ROCK SHOW AWARD
(roughly corresponding to:
number of flashpot blasts x 2(number of large props))
---------------
Manson (by far. bonus points for dry ice, stilts, lenin-esque podium)
Slipnot (nice jumpsuits and masks. crazy industrial instruments.)
Sabbath (lame video, but burning "Black Sabbath" cross ok)

Special prize in BDRS category:
Mudvayne (they would have done a BDRS if they weren't 2nd stage)

ANGRY LEAD SINGER IS REALLY A SWEETIE AWARD
---------------
#8, Slipknot
Kud, Mudvayne (Runner Up)
Ozzy, Sabbath (2nd Runner Up)

THOT HE'D BE A SWEETIE BUT HE'S A BIT OF AN ASS AWARD
---------------
Marilyn Manson

GOSH GEE WILLIKERS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A ROCK STAR AWARD
---------------
That Papa Roach Guy
Zakk Wylde, BLS (runner up)
Ryknow, Bassist, Mudvayne (runner up)

BEST MOSH PIT
---------------
Slipknot, by far (fun, but painful)

BEST THREAT ISSUED BY PERFORMER AT AUDIENCE
---------------
Marilyn Manson
to paraphrase: "If the tough guy who threw the water bottle at me doesn't come up here and face me like a human being, i'm going to tell these people here to bash his fucking skull in."

SCARIEST MOMENT
---------------
Friend trapped low on the pavement in slipknot moshpit
Guy knocked unconscious during bar-area fight (runner-up)
"Butterfly", Crazy Town (2nd runner up, for sucking in a frightening manner)

MOST MAUDLIN ANGSTY T-SHIRT SLOGAN
---------------
"We Hate Love, We Love Hate" (some kid, shirt band affiliation unknown)
"PEOPLE=SHIT" (runner up, Slipknot)
"Say You Love Satan" (2nd runner up)

HIGHEST T-SHIRT REPRESENTATION (%)
---------------
Slipknot
Sabbath (runner up)
Manson (2nd runner up)

HIGHEST T-SHIRT REP FROM BANDS NOT ON THE BILL
---------------
Sepultura
Fear Factory (runner up)
Rage (2nd runner up)

ODDEST ROCK MOMENT
---------------
The spontaneous singing of Rage's "Bullet in Your Head" for no discernable reason whatsoever.

MOST HOMOPHOBIC AND CROWD-BAITING MOMENT
---------------
"The Toronto Maple Leafs are a bunch of faggots"
Guy from Taproot

WEENIE QUOTIENT
---------------
~15% (lower than i thot)

SHIRTLESS MALE WHITE-TRASH QUOTIENT
---------------
~20% (higher than i thot)

LEAD SINGER WHO MOST ADMONISHED "I CAN'T HEAR YOU"
---------------
Ozzy, Black Sabbath
#8 [Cory], Slipknot (runner up)

MOST EFFUSIVE USE OF THE ADJECTIVAL FORM OF "FUCK"
---------------
Kud, Mudvayne ("this fucking song goes out to the fucking
stupid motherfuckers who fucking said that..."
#8 [Cory], Slipknot (runner up)
Zakk Wylde, BLS (2nd runner up)

NUMBER OF INSTANCES WHERE IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT BLACK SABBATH HAS BROUGHT FATHERS CLOSER TOGETHER WITH THEIR CHILDREN
---------------
~10

RESPONSE MOST TYPICAL OF A JOURNALIST
---------------
"How can kids possibly like this stuff? And where's the beat? Never mind the melody"
(Joanne Richard, Toronto Sun)


From: somewhere over there | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Liam McCarthy
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 800

posted 28 July 2001 03:31 AM      Profile for Liam McCarthy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
That's pretty funny. I'd love to see Sabbath but I could pass in those other bands. In my day we listened to two chord thrash like Gang Green and we liked it just fine. I'm not into these melodic pauses from these new angry suburban offshoots like Slipnot. I don't want to see Manson either I dropped by the bar they were playing at in Detroit last time they came through, and he sounds like a bit of an ass. Somebody should have thrown a beer bottle instead. Oh well, when Ozzy starts touring with the likes of Reverend Horton Heat, then I might end up at Ozzfest. Until then I'll continue to pay Ozzy tribute by going to open mic acoustic nights, getting blatzed, and yelling play Black Sabbath at the performers.
From: Windsor, Ont. | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doug
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 44

posted 28 July 2001 04:41 AM      Profile for Doug   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I wish I could have gone. Black Sabbat would've been a treat and Slipknot puts on a decent show, I'm told. Admittedly, Marilyn Manson is one of my guiltier pleasures cause he really is an ass, some of his fans aren't much better, mainly because they take him FAR too seriously and his act is cheesy - though that's a positive thing as well since I like moderate amounts of cheese. (Oh angst! Oh drama!) It's amusing. And he can write a song or two.

Not quite worth the $80 price of admission, though.


From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 28 July 2001 12:15 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
So what happened with Marilyn Manson? Did the person who threw the bottle confess, or was there vigilante justice?
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stop14
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 449

posted 28 July 2001 01:31 PM      Profile for Stop14   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My current theory on the "smash his skull in" incident during the Manson show is that Marilyn was actually concerned for his own safety... later on in the show, he brought out his stilt contraption (from the "Beautiful People" video), and it would have been somewhat dangerous if people got into lobbing half-full water bottles at him. Being Marilyn Manson, he couldn't acutually say "please stop throwing those bottles, i might get hurt" within his frighten-middle-america idiom, so he resorted to (somewhat clever) intimidation tactics. Though my memory is a bit hazy, it went down like this:

  • Marilyn asks that "the tough guy who through the bottle" come up on stage "and be a real human being";
  • Tough guy tries to hide, but is probably ratted out;
  • Manson, identifying tough guy, admonishes him again;
  • Reticent tough guy tries to decline rock star's kind offer;
  • Manson then makes his infamous statement, in the form of a rhetorical question "What would happen if i asked these people to bash your fucking skull in?"
  • Tough guy tacitly agrees that it is indeed a good question;
  • Mansonites await directions from their leader;
  • After little deliberation, tough guy is surfed to the stage;
  • Manson berates him, grabs some object (it was hard to see but i figure it was a large 1.5L water bottle), and pings him in the head with it;
  • Manson verbally humilates him some more, ending with something to the effect of "get this piece of shit off my stage";
  • Largish security guards get that piece of shit off his stage;
  • Mission accomplished, water bottles cease to be thrown at manson;
  • Middle america sleeps lighter;
  • Manson ascends stilt contraption with a greater sense of safety.

[ July 28, 2001: Message edited by: bill kennedy ]

[ July 28, 2001: Message edited by: bill kennedy ]


From: somewhere over there | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged

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