babble home
rabble.ca - news for the rest of us
today's active topics


Post New Topic  Post A Reply
FAQ | Forum Home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» babble   » right brain babble   » culture   » Quotes You Dig

Email this thread to someone!    
Author Topic: Quotes You Dig
Jared
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 803

posted 27 June 2001 06:46 PM      Profile for Jared     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This may have been done already, but I'm just wondering what quotes people on the Rabble message board find groovy.

Here's some off the top of my head:

For nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like this one because I have no post-secondary education to speak of (although I start this fall): Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. -Oscar Wilde

Whenever I see WWF wrestling on TV (if there's any wrestling fans, I base it on the general demographic): That which can be made explicit to the idiot is not worth my care -William Blake

I know it's not a quotation in the classical sense, but I love this indictment of neoclassical economics were the bottom line is the only concern: Departments of economics are graduating a generation of idiot savants, brilliant at esoteric mathematics yet innocent of actual economic life. -Nobel economist Wassily Leontiev

Don't eat the yellow snow. -Frank Zappa

There's a great one by Orwell that I can't remember at the moment and I lent out my copy of 1984. A pox on my generosity!!

[ June 27, 2001: Message edited by: Jared ]


From: Vancouver | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
judym
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 29

posted 27 June 2001 07:26 PM      Profile for judym   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
What is generally regarded as success - acquisition of wealth, the capture of power or social prestige - I consider the most dismal failures.

- Emma Goldman, 1934


From: earth | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 27 June 2001 07:42 PM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I am probably unnecessarily repeating, but..

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent" - Salvor Hardin, Foundation, by Dr. Isaac Asimov

"How do you know God didn't spake to Charles Darwin?" - Henry Drummond, Inherit the Wind. This, I feel, is classic because it directly attacks one of the most deeply held assumptions of Christians - that God speaks only to them and not to presumed heretics.

"You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns; you shall not crucify mankind on a cross of gold!" - William Jennings Bryan, in a speech in 1902 (I believe). He was protesting the existence of the Gold Standard, which stacked the economic deck against workers and small businessmen in favor of the rich and large businesses, because it effectively rationed the use of credit, and the well-connected got first crack at new loanable funds. He was in favor of a bimetallic standard. Yes, he was an evangelical Christian, and he WAS the prosecutor in the 1925 Scopes trial, but for all that, he was in many other respects as close to a populist as I think you will ever find.


From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 27 June 2001 10:10 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Faith is believing what you know ain't so.--- Mark Twain (1835-1910) "
From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
sean s.
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 860

posted 27 June 2001 10:27 PM      Profile for sean s.   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
It is the stillest words which bring the storm. Thoughts that come on doves' feet guide the world.
From: montreal | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Victor Von Mediaboy
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 554

posted 27 June 2001 11:38 PM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
These are all paraphrased, of course...

"Injustice is done when the equal are treated unequally, and when the unequal are treated equally." - Ezra Pound

"In America, as elsewhere, free speech is reserved for the dead." - Mark Twain

"Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex."
- Karl Marx

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo." - H. G. Wells

"If Earthlings don't constantly exercise their jaws, their brains start to work." - Douglas Adams (via Ford Prefect)

"The sky was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel." - William Gibson (perfectly summing up what the future is probably going to be like, on so many levels.)


(Dr Conway: Why do you assume that all Christians are so egotistical? Darwin, after all, was also a Christian.)

[ June 27, 2001: Message edited by: mediaboy ]


From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 27 June 2001 11:47 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I am a Christian too. I'm disillusioned right now with the shift to the right that evangelical churches are going through (I'm a Baptist), so I don't mind moral majority jokes and stuff like that. But just remember that there ARE some Christians out there who love Jesus in a left-wing, social-gospel sort of way...
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 27 June 2001 11:48 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Here's one from Carl Sagan I like, but it's not my favorite of his:

"But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."

My favourite Sagan quote is: "Exraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."

Of course, here is the classic from General George S. Patton: "No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making other bastards die for their country."

And, there's this one from Gore Vidal: "Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half."

And good old Tacitus got it right two thousand or so years ago: "The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws."

And I like this Arabian Proverb: "If you buy cheap meat, when it boils you smell what you have saved."

Thomas Paine on tories: " Every tory is a coward, for a servile, slavish, self-interested fear is the foundation of toryism; and a man under such influence, though he may be cruel, never can he be brave."


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 27 June 2001 11:55 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
While Darwin was to become a country gentleman minister at one time, he ended his days an unrepentant athiest.

There is an urban legend, popular with creationists, that Darwin underwent a death bead conversion.

It is not so.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jared
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 803

posted 28 June 2001 02:14 AM      Profile for Jared     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
I am a Christian too. I'm disillusioned right now with the shift to the right that evangelical churches are going through (I'm a Baptist), so I don't mind moral majority jokes and stuff like that. But just remember that there ARE some Christians out there who love Jesus in a left-wing, social-gospel sort of way...

To whoever said this, I was raised Roman Catholic. My mother gave me the option of leaving the church after I reached my confirmation at age 12, and as soon as I could, I did. Even at a young age, I could see the inherent hypocrisy the Bible contains. That being said, I have remained a huge fan of Christ. Although I refuse to follow any kind of religious dogma, Jesus always seemed to me to be doing his own thing. And that's what particularly maddening...Jesus would not be a Republican!! You know that when he flipped over the tables in the temple in anger at age 13, it was the Jerry Falwell of the time which expelled him. Yet the religious right claims to speak for the teachings of Christ.

I especially loved the flawed and human character in Nikos Kazantzakis' "Last Temptation Of Christ" (never saw the movie). The last thing that I want is a flawless deity; I don't buy it unless the "saviour" has lived the human experience. Ultimately, I think that faith and belief can be a beautiful thing as long as followers don't treat their teachings as a rule book on how to live their lives. It's not for me, but that's a personal decision. Too many conflicts in the name of "holy war" I guess.

[ June 28, 2001: Message edited by: Jared ]


From: Vancouver | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 28 June 2001 08:15 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You guys are inspiring, as always. Jared, you're doing a pretty good job educating yourself already, I'd say.

Sir Thomas Browne (1605-82): "What songs the Syrens sang, or what name Achilles assumed when he hid himself among women, though puzzling questions, are not beyond all conjecture." I love that sentence because it's trippy, because it's a good model to use any time you want to say that something isn't beyond all consideration -- and most of all because Edgar Allan Poe quoted it at the head of "The Murders in the Rue Morgue."

Terence (190-159 BC): Homo sum; humani nil a me alienum puto. "I am a man; nothing human is indifferent to me."

Tennessee Williams revised that slightly to "Nothing human is alien to me" in Night of the Iguana.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Debra
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 117

posted 28 June 2001 10:30 AM      Profile for Debra   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Heaven preserve me from littleness and pleasantness and smoothness.
Give me great glaring vices, but preserve me from the neat little neutral ambiguities.
Be wicked, be brave, be drunk, be reckless, be dissolute, be despotic,
be an anarchist, be a suffragette,
be anything you like, but for pity's sake be it to the top of your bent.
Live fully, live passionately, live disastrously.
Let's live, you and I, as none have ever lived before.
October 25th, 1918
Violet Treyfuss

From: The only difference between graffiti & philosophy is the word fuck... | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pimji
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 228

posted 29 June 2001 12:25 AM      Profile for Pimji   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
These are proverbs rather than quotes. I find these fun to say in rapid succession at work.

Idle hands are the devils workshop!
An Idle mind is the devils playground!
Cleanliness is next to Godliness!
Whistling! It’s the devils music!

From: South of Ottawa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 29 June 2001 10:15 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You made me laugh, Pimji -- because you reminded me of my mother. She was (like many mothers) a font of lines like that -- I like to remember especially her most baroque one:

He who calls his brother a fool is in danger of hell-fire!!!

That one really bugged me as a kid because I was looking for things to call my brother -- but I for sure was afraid of hell-fire! -- what to do? I ended up deciding "stupid" was all-purpose good enough.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 29 June 2001 01:02 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Sorry for the double-post, but couldn't resist stealing this from the WordSpy:

Waiting for the German verb is surely the ultimate thrill.
--Flann O'Brien, Irish novelist, "The Hair of the Dogma", 1977


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
audra trower williams
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 2

posted 29 June 2001 09:20 PM      Profile for audra trower williams   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"You don't have to signal a social conscience by looking like a frump. Lace knickers won't hasten the holocaust, you can ban the bomb in feather boa just as well as without, and a mild interest in the length of hemlines doesn't necessarily disqualify you from reading Das Kapital and agreeing with every word" - Emma Goldman? I think?
From: And I'm a look you in the eye for every bar of the chorus | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jared
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 803

posted 29 June 2001 09:47 PM      Profile for Jared     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Weird coincidence: reading Nietzsche this afternoon, I found a couple quotes which aptly describe two of my favourite right-wing leaders within about five minutes of each other:

Stock: "In every party there is one member who, by his all-too-devout pronouncement of the party principles, provokes the others to apostasy." (remember the debate prop, among other things)

Dubya: "Political superiority without any real human superiority is most harmful."


From: Vancouver | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jay
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 465

posted 29 June 2001 10:26 PM      Profile for Jay     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Great quotes.
Here are some more:

"Why don’t you do it in a gradual manner? Well, gradualism is little more than
escapism and do-nothingism, which ends up in stand-stillism."
-Martin Luther King Jr, from a speach he gave in Detroit I think.

"Television is a medium, so called because it is neither rare nor well done."
-Ernie Kovacs

"Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone."
-John Maynard Keynes

"Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education"
-Bertrand Russell


From: earth | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jay
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 465

posted 29 June 2001 10:31 PM      Profile for Jay     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Here's somthing else I found kickin' around on my computer, it's not a quote, but I always found it amusing...


Here's the (true?) story of how and why Karl Marx became a Marxist:

One evening, back in 1832, 14 year old Karl Marx walked up to his father and said: "Dad, I need your help. I've got to write an essay for my history class on the role of capitalism in our modern society, but I don't even know how to begin."
Karl's father put down his newspaper and said: "Well, son, it's not that difficult. I'll try to explain it to you in simple terms with a little analogy. Let's take our family as an example. In our family I make all the money, so let's just say that I'm "capitalism." Your mother would be "the government," because she makes all the decisions and spends all the money I make. Our maid does all the work around the house, so we'll simply call her "the working class." You are "the people," and your little baby brother -- well, let's just say he is "the future." Do you understand it a little better now??"
"I'm not sure," said Karl, "I guess I need to think about it some more," and he went off to bed.
Later that night he woke up because his baby brother was crying in the room next door. Karl got up to check on his little brother and noticed that the baby's diapers needed changing. He went to his mother's bedroom and found her snoring, with an empty bottle of rum next to her on the nightstand. All his efforts to wake her up were futile, so he went downstairs to the maid's room to wake her up. The door of the maid's room was slightly open and he heard loud heavy breathing. He peeked into the room and saw his father in bed with the maid having sex.
So Karl quietly went back upstairs to change the baby's diaper himself and then went back to bed.
The next morning Karl went down to the kitchen and found his dad sitting at the breakfast table.
"Good morning, Karl," his dad says. "How's your essay coming along? Does what I told you last night make a little more sense now?"
"Oh yes, thanks dad," Karl says, "you've been a great help. I think I understand the whole thing now: While capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is fast asleep, the people are being totally ignored, and the future is full of shit."


From: earth | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 01 July 2001 03:28 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
lol

The upper crust is nothing but a bunch of crumbs, held together by dough.

-Mary Walsh, "This Hour has Twenty Two Minutes"

[Tommy hilfiger's] latest fashions are about as fresh as a crack whore at sunrise!
-paraphrase from a "MAD TV" skit - "reality check"

I'm sure I'll think of some funnier ones later.

[ July 01, 2001: Message edited by: meades ]


From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 01 July 2001 11:55 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Just like what Nazi Germany
did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no
different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic
Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the
Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward
any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in
history."

Does the above quote not seem a little hypocritical?


From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 02 July 2001 03:00 AM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
meades: *laugh* Tell me about it.

BTW, lemme guess the source of that quote - was it Pat Robertson (of the Christian Coalition)?

I always laugh at Christians who seriously think they are the "persecuted minority" in North America. Their churches are exempt from property tax; prayers to God are routinely given in Congress; Presidents are almost always sworn in on a Bible; the default oath taken in court is a swearing to tell the truth on a Christian Bible "so help you God".

I could recite many other ways in which Christian dogma and symbology is shot through North American culture - a prominent example is the secularization of all the major Christian holidays as permitted statutory holidays for which the law mandates days off with pay.

There's another good one that Pat Robertson said.. if I remember correctly, it went "Separation of church and state is a lie of the left." Strikes me as kinda funny that the Founding Fathers of the USA, so idolized by the Religious Right, were the ones to insert into the Constitution a provision requiring Congress and the Presidency to keep their mitts out of religion (which, in effect, means that even if a religiously based political party did gain power, it would be constitutionally forbidden from enforcing preferential treatment for its own sect).


From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 02 July 2001 04:49 AM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You're right! It was Pat Robertson! And ironically, i pulled that quote from the web-site of the Ontario Consultants for Religious Tolerance. That group is tolerant though, I think they were giving an example of how NOT to be . Another interesting bit (I don't know what of) is that Benjamin Franklin was prejudiced against Catholics, as well as those who occupied the continent who did not speak English. Isn't it such a silly thing that people become intolerant over the absolutely trivial differences between Protestant and Catholic? Over that past fifteen years, I've been both and dozens more, and I can say with some degree of certainty, anyone who gets fussy about the differences between these two groups, has far too much time on their hands, combined with not enough stregnth upstairs. You know what the big difference between my Catholic church and my Lutheran church were? My Catholic church had confesionals, while my Lutheran church had a better air conditioning system. But the air conditioning at my other Catholic church was pretty good, but they also had a "sunday school" area with walls that were half glass, and the kneeling stands they had didn't have cushioning, so they were uncomfortable. The sermans (sp) were almost exactly the same, and I can't comment about tolerance in this case 'cause other faiths were never talked about in church, all of the ones I've been to at least. I know the attitudes toward papacy is a big difference, but it was never talked about it either church! Anyway, I'm rambling, so I'll stop now.
From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 02 July 2001 04:59 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Meades, what the h*** are you doing up at this hour? It's well past your bedtime.
From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 02 July 2001 05:10 AM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I woke up at noon, so it's not that bad. Isn't it "lights out" at the seniors home yet?

[ July 02, 2001: Message edited by: meades ]


From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 02 July 2001 05:18 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Saucy knave!

[ July 02, 2001: Message edited by: rasmus_raven ]


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
amethist
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 323

posted 02 July 2001 11:47 AM      Profile for amethist     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Here are a few of my favourites (I have tons, I collect them on a database):
    quote:
    The truth is rarely pure. And NEVER simple. (Oscar Wilde)

    quote:
    Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from mistaken conviction. (Pascal Blaise)

    quote:
    I know there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I HATE people like that. (Tom Lehrer)

    quote:
    I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. (Neitzsche)

    quote:
    Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them...he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?"...God said, "I did do something. I made you." (Sufi Teaching)


And, finally, from "Anon":
quote:
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

From: Regina | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 02 July 2001 12:06 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
amethist, that Tom Lehrer quote -- National Brotherhood Week, yes? Great album, great wit, so many great quotes, but -- Two, four, six, eight, / Time to transubstantiate!
From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 02 July 2001 12:47 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Here are some more gewels from the OCRT "quotes" section:

quote:
"Tragically, the words written by Supreme Court Justices .... said, 'At the heart of liberty is the right to define one's own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human
life.'"

-Dr. James Dobson, letter to "Focus on the Family" supporters

quote:
One death is a tragedy, but a million deaths are merely a statistic.

-That one was from everyones favorite dicatator; Joseph Stalin

quote:
Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet

-Yes, believe it or not, they put a quote form "Jack Handey" on their website.

quote:
Most of these feminists are radical, frustrated lesbians, many of them, and man-haters, and failures in their relationships with men, and who have declared war on the male gender. The Biblical condemnation of feminism has to do with its radical philosophy and goals. That's the bottom line.

-I'm sure you could all tell this one's from Jerry Falwell

quote:
...make dads the godly leaders [of the family] with the women in submission, raising kids for the glory of God.

-This one is from Randall Terry.

Now after a barrage of stupidity such as the one we all just experienced with the above quotes, I'd like to end my post with some nice quotes, that had at least some degree of thoughtfulness woven into it.

quote:
Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so. This creed is somewhat short, but is long enough for this life; long enough for this world. If there is another world, when we get there we can make another creed. But this creed certainly will do for this life.

-Robert G. Ingersoll

quote:
Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must ever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and
discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

-Martin Luther King, Jr

quote:
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.

-Margaret Mead

From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 03 July 2001 01:13 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Most of these feminists are radical, frustrated lesbians, many of them, and man-haters, and failures in their relationships with men, and who have declared war on the male gender. The Biblical condemnation of feminism has to do with its radical philosophy and goals. That's the bottom line.

I'm so glad you posted a quote by Jerry Falwell. As a fellow Baptist, I'm always ILLUMINATED by his wisdom. You see, now I know why my marriage failed - I'm a feminist - oops, I mean a "frustrated lesbian" who has "declared war on the male gender."

I especially love the part about how feminists are man-haters who are failures in their relationships with men. I wonder what that makes sexist men whose relationships also fail when their wives finally DUMP their asses? Well, I guess that just makes them victims. After all, I'm sure scores of chauvanist men whose wives have stopped putting up with their bullshit comfort themselves everyday with the realization that their ex's were probably lesbians. It only makes sense: "She must be a lesbian - what woman wouldn't want me?"

Should this be in the complaints thread?

DISCLAIMER: All men are not sexist. All husbands are not sexist. All divorced men did not get that way by being sexist. Jerry Falwell and men who think like him are sexist, and these comments are aimed directly at them.


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 03 July 2001 09:17 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Michelle, have you ever read the SCUM Manifesto? First sentence:

"Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore, and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system, institute complete automation, and destroy the male sex." Valerie Solanas, 1967

DISCLAIMER: I didn't write that sentence. See the quotation marks? No death threats here. Sheesh, but these caveats seem to be getting necessary ... I assume people know Solanas's history vaguely; can fill in if necessary.

In spite of all that really was wrong with Solanas, that sentence ain't a bad rhetorical model when you're in the mood for a rant that really goes over the top, yes? When I was teaching composition many years ago, I used to use it as a model periodic (compound-complex) sentence, and get students to write parodies of it, imitating the structure precisely -- that exercise produced amazingly funny results, and had the great side-effect of convincing my students that they really could master complex structure.

I always hope people will burst out laughing when they first read it -- I did -- but maybe that sense of humour is now dated ...


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 03 July 2001 09:27 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You succeeded with me, anyhow. You should also present that to divorce therapy groups. Cathartic. But let's just eradicate the men who are jerks, not the nice guys. I am, perhaps unfortunately, still heterosexual. And I don't feel like staying celibate forever.

I know what you mean about the caveats. Here's my caveat for those who cannot understand sarcasm or satire when they read it: I don't REALLY want to eradicate the men who are jerks.


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 03 July 2001 09:34 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Michelle:

quote:
I am, perhaps unfortunately, still heterosexual. And I don't feel like staying celibate forever.

Yeah, me too; me neither. Bummer, eh?


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
wagepeace
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 114

posted 03 July 2001 02:18 PM      Profile for wagepeace     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I tend to quote John Wayne as often as possible:

On being a man:

"A man's gotta do what he thinks is best."

On being correcting your adult children:

"You can call father, you can call me Jacob, you can call me jake. You can call me a dirty son of a bitch, but the next time you call me daddy again, I'll finish this fight!"

On fatherly advice:

"I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble."

on process serving a rat:

"Now it's a writ, writ for a rat, and this is lawful service of same"

on angry cattlemen:

"I think somebody outta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't, the hell I won't."

on the keeping bad company:

"well, yer partners killed you and I've done the same for him".


From: In a fog and on anti-psychotics | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 04 July 2001 03:42 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Oh just some random things I've been reminded of today, not really favourites:

In honour of Mordecai Richler:

"There is only so much bad wine I will drink for my country."

My thoughts exactly, Mordecai.

In honour of Richler and Trudeau: when Trudeau's cashgrab autobiography was to be released in 1993, the two men sat near each other at an Expos game. Richler asked, "under what rubric will it be sold, fiction or non-fiction? " Trudeau answered, immediately, "poetry."

Churchill on Gandhi:

"It takes a great deal of money to keep him in the poverty to which he is accustomed."

God that's good. I'd like to be that good. Anyhow.


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
905er
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 602

posted 04 July 2001 07:22 AM      Profile for 905er     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Wasn't it once said about Churchill that he spent the better part of his life preparing his ad-libs? Or was that Disraeli?
From: in the middle of a sea of diapers | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 04 July 2001 12:16 PM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
905er, you've hit on something important there. People who are that witty devote lots of mental time and energy to it. It's not something that just happens. I'm not generalizing from my case to the world, but most of *my *best zingers were imagined ahead of time. Of course I didn't tell anyone else that. And I don't spend lots of time thinking them up, sometimes they just come to me. Just so you don't get the wrong idea about my personality.

[ July 04, 2001: Message edited by: rasmus_raven ]


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Debra
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 117

posted 04 July 2001 07:09 PM      Profile for Debra   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
“None of us has gotten where we are solely by pulling ourselves up from our bootstraps. We got there because somebody bent down and helped us.” - Thurgood Marshall

From: The only difference between graffiti & philosophy is the word fuck... | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doug
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 44

posted 05 July 2001 12:25 AM      Profile for Doug   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Conservatives aren't evil, just wrong."
- David Lewis

From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 05 July 2001 08:43 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
David Lewis has been known to be wrong.
From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Victor Von Mediaboy
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 554

posted 05 July 2001 10:13 AM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Good quotes here: http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~robins/quotes.html

"Do not speak to a fool, for he will scorn the wisdom of your words." - Proverbs 23:8-10

[ July 05, 2001: Message edited by: mediaboy ]


From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
905er
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 602

posted 05 July 2001 10:55 AM      Profile for 905er     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
OK, rasmus -- this one's directed at you, since I know you sometimes worry that you're spreading yourself too thinly. It's the great Swiss historian Jacob Burkhardt, reflecting on being a "dilettante."

“Dilettantism owes its bad reputation to the arts, where, of course, one is either nothing or a master who devotes his entire life to them, because the arts demand perfection.

"In learning, by contrast, one can attain mastery only of a limited field, namely as a specialist, and this mastery one should attain. But if one does not wish to forfeit the ability to form a general overview – indeed, to have respect for such an overview – then one should be a dilettante in as many fields as possible – at any rate, privately – in order to enhance one's own knowledge and enrichment of diverse historical viewpoints. Otherwise one remains an ignoramus in all that lies beyond one's specialty, and, under the circumstances, on the whole, a barbarous fellow."

I love that.

[ July 05, 2001: Message edited by: 905er ]


From: in the middle of a sea of diapers | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 05 July 2001 11:15 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Well 905er as you may have guessed I am a big-time dilettante. It's just natural curiosity. At the same time I realize that to be a master, for the most part, you have to do one thing, and be blind to the negative consequences of it. That's the hard part for me. You know you meet some people like that and unless you're talking about their one thing they have nothing to say. They're boring. And in general not self-critical.
From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
905er
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 602

posted 05 July 2001 11:18 AM      Profile for 905er     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yep -- it's the old "fox vs hedgehog" conundrum. You run with the foxes.
From: in the middle of a sea of diapers | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
PhatPig
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 771

posted 05 July 2001 11:35 AM      Profile for PhatPig     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I like these ones:

A pigs ass is still pork.

Make sure your brain is loaded before you shoot your mouth off.


From: Winnipeg | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 05 July 2001 11:44 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
PhP, in the same vein:

"Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out."

Foxes indeed, 905er. Are you a Berlin fan?

[ July 05, 2001: Message edited by: rasmus_raven ]


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 05 July 2001 11:51 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Speaking of quotations, I always have difficulty recommending books to people when they ask what would be a good first book to read in philosophy. That's hard, really hard. Well I recently found one that I gave to a friend's daughter and it seems to have gone over well. It's called Porcupines. On every other page it has a famous quotation from philosophy, and on the facing page, the passage of text from which it comes. Of course it's not as good as reading texts because you don't see an argument develop but it might seduce some people. So I recommend it. The passages are short and sweet and if you're interested you can follow up on them.
From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 05 July 2001 11:53 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
George Orwell once wrote a jargon-ridden "translation" of a famously beautiful and wise passage to demonstrate the truth and power of precise, concrete, brave words, by contrast with bureaucratic evasions, euphemisms, and pretensions. The translation goes like this:

"Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account."

Anyone know what passage he was parodying? I'll leave this to simmer for a few hours, and then I'll supply the original, if no one else does.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Victor Von Mediaboy
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 554

posted 05 July 2001 12:08 PM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Good first philosophy book: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Philosophy. Seriously!
From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
905er
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 602

posted 05 July 2001 12:47 PM      Profile for 905er     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I got it, skdadl!! It was driving me nuts -- finally I figured out a key phrase from it, and it all came rushing back. Won't spoil it for others still stewing -- if you want to cheat, here's the link to the quote, under the number "11".
From: in the middle of a sea of diapers | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 05 July 2001 01:47 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Head of the class, 905er! And extra points for linking to the King James Version -- for that, you get to stay after class and clean the blackboard erasers. (A shameless steal from Tom Lehrer.)

I thought it would be useful to have both quotes next to one another, so:

Ecclesiastes 9:11:

quote:
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Orwell's translation:

quote:
"Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account."


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 05 July 2001 03:24 PM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I prefer the Revised Standard Version

The RSV and the NRSV are direct retranslations from the original Greek and Hebrew, as opposed to coming via the Latin for the KJV.

[ July 05, 2001: Message edited by: DrConway ]


From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 05 July 2001 03:35 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Well, but, DrC, you etymological pussycat you, it depends on what you want your Bible for. See what the RSV gives us:

quote:
Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to the men of skill; but time and chance happen to them all.

There's no advantage of precision there; and there's a loss of the C16-C17 diction that (and I'm standing on my Northrop Frye here) is more than just embedded in the modern language -- this marks the invention of the modern language.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 05 July 2001 03:50 PM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My 1976 RSV still retains most of the KJV word-usage without all the technical inaccuracies. ... now if I can just find it instead of relying on the online version.


From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 05 July 2001 05:46 PM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Well I am a King James man myself The KJV is music. I also prefer the original Book of Common Prayer, but that's awful hard to find now. The language is wonderful.

*strokes DrConway and slips him some catnip while gently disagreeing with him*

DrC, I think if you read the preface to the KJ there is something about diligently comparing the various versions, including the "original tongues". By the time of the KJV the revival of Greek and Hebrew learning in the West was well-established.

The amazing thing about the KJV is that it was done by a committee of scholars, but is still so beautiful.

OTOH, DrC, you are right that later translations mostly improve the accuracy. One quibble I have -- in the sermon on the mount Jesus says, in the KJV, "the Kingdom of God is within you." This actually translates the Greek quite accurately but for theological reasons (the Church's persistent anti-gnosticism) this has been revised to "among you."


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 05 July 2001 06:18 PM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Not only our future economic soundness but the very soundness of our democratic institutions depends on the determination of our government to give employment to idle men." - FDR
From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
EMILIE
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 265

posted 05 July 2001 09:13 PM      Profile for EMILIE     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The ultimate in quotable quotes:

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
Douglas Adams.


From: Montreal | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 06 July 2001 01:26 AM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Well I am a King James man myself The KJV is music. I also prefer the original Book of Common Prayer, but that's awful hard to find now. The language is wonderful.

Guess I just value technical accuracy over beautiful words.


From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 06 July 2001 01:33 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When I want technical accuracy, I read it in Greek ;p~

But your words are beautiful to me, anyway, DrC. :)


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 06 July 2001 01:43 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
There are certain passages from the bible that you really need to read the KJV to get the beauty out of it (well, maybe that's just my opinion). Some of the more famous ones just don't sound right to me in contemporary language. For instance:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. (Psalm 23)

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

I have the New King James Version written in slightly more modern language, no thous and thees, and -eths taken off the end of verbs. Makes for easier reading I guess.

I had a boyfriend once who used to laugh about some of the really modern versions of the Bible. He had a favorite verse from the KJV that usually got massacred in the modern ones like the NIV. So his little parody of new versions of the Bible was the sixth commandment: "Don't be killin' nobody."


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 06 July 2001 01:49 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
BTW, the Bible (at least the New Testament) is probably one of the few works that has been improved by translation. The Greek of the NT is totally insipid. The English is tremendous, as, I hear, is Luther's German.

As for the Hebrew I don't know.


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 06 July 2001 02:43 AM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"There are two ideas of government. There are those who believe that, if you will only legislate to make the well-to-do prosperous, their prosperity will leak through on those below. The Democratic idea, however, has been that if you legislate to make the masses prosperous, their prosperity will find its way up through every class which rests upon them."

"You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns; you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold!"

- William Jennings Bryan, 1896 Democratic Convention.


From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trisha
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 387

posted 06 July 2001 03:49 AM      Profile for Trisha     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Something our political parties should pay attention to:

"An alliance works when there is trust between the allies...and, most important, a mutual interest." Mark McNeilly


From: Thunder Bay, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 06 July 2001 05:00 AM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Michelle: doesn't the 23rd psalm continue to say : "for he is with me." ?

Anyway, I was looking for the 23rd psalm, and alas, it turns out i was using the "good news bible" that my aunt had given me. To give you an idea of what the "good news bible" is, imagine taking the KJV, letting it soak in water for twenty years, and take out all the beutiful English, and replace it with laimen (sp) american terms, along with a few blatantly offensive remarks, and you have yourself some "good news". All kidding aside, i love my aunt and the rest of my extended fundamentalist family (this is sounding like a disclaimer). They put the FUN in FUNdamentalist! Anyway, I guess the "GNB" can be good if you're the type of Jerry Falwell Christian (I don't mean Baptist, I mean Christian-right, ie, blasphemous) and trying to raise kids acording to bible teachings. But frankly, I'll continue to read the KJV as I always do, like a shakespearean comedy . Enjoying the beutiful english, and the pleasant sarcasm of certain passages (I know they aren't meant to be sarcastic, but from my perspective, I hope they are ). I'm not trying to offend anyone, just trying for a gentle chuckle. [for now] I'll continue reading the 613 Mitzvot for religious wisdom (but the shakespearean comedy perspective can come in handy there somtimes as well )

In case none of you guessed, my "religion" has been known to change on a weekly basis. What kind of Smilie do you use for a statement like that?

p.s. I think I found it


From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 06 July 2001 05:04 AM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This is also a funny story I forgot to mention (sorry for the double post). In the Library of Algoma University College, here in the Sault, the bible is filled under "bs". This is true! Can you believe that! That is some funny stuff!
From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 06 July 2001 10:42 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
The amazing thing about the KJV is that it was done by a committee of scholars, but is still so beautiful.

One teensy-tiny correction to this comment: In fact, about 80 per cent of the KJV is the C16 translation of one great writer, William Tyndale, whose versions of various parts appeared over the years 1525-37.

The committee set up by James I (of England -- in Scotland he is James VI, or James the first of one and half a dozen of the other) in 1604 mainly authorized earlier translations. The Ox Comp to Eng Lit says the version finally published as the Authorized Version (1611), or KJV, is "essentially" Tyndale's Bible, with some substantial passages taken from the school of John Wyclif (late C15).

So the language is really mid-C16 -- that's not just early in the English Renaissance: it is the start of the Renaissance in England, or the sign of its arrival.

Different "facts" matter in different disciplines. To historians of language, or students of poetics or lit history, all the first European vernacular translations of the Bible are privileged because, one by one, they helped to create and stabilize the modern languages -- some quite dramatically, Luther's probably most of all.

Political attacks on the "canon" are all very well, but on events like these they really stub their toes. Some few works in every modern language continue to matter because, in a way, even people who've never read them are still speaking them -- or are spoken by them. If you speak English, you cannot escape Sidney, Spenser, Shakespeare, or Tyndale -- you don't have to read them; you live them still.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jared
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 803

posted 06 July 2001 10:42 AM      Profile for Jared     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The bible is filed under BS at Douglas College in New West as well (although so are all other religious texts I believe). Who designed this system of cataloguing, Nietzsche?

I'd forgotten all about the "Good News Bible!" Before I was confirmed I took cathecism-like classes at the church on weekends, and this is what we were assigned. Can anybody spell "budget-slash?" Anyhow, my mother (who's fundamentalist by no means) give the GNB a look-see, and was so horrified that she insisted that I start using my leather-bound KJV which I recieved for first communion. I stood out amongst the other kids like a highbrow sore-thumb.

[ July 06, 2001: Message edited by: Jared ]


From: Vancouver | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 06 July 2001 11:25 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The Bibles we have in our church (Baptist) are New Revised Standard Version. They actually aren't too bad. The idea was to modernize the language. But it's so strange when someone gets up to read the Bible reading for the service using a KJV and try to follow along in the NRSV. Sometimes the entire sentence structure is changed (although I have to say that I haven't noticed any altered meaning). I think there is a place for modernizing the text. Everyone isn't an English scholar, and it makes the Bible more accessible for those who don't want to wade through 16C (or whatever) literary style.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Victor Von Mediaboy
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 554

posted 06 July 2001 11:44 AM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My parents' church uses the Good News Bible. What a lousy translation!!! It's supposed to be in "modern language", but they really change the very meaning of many passages.

Example, there's a passage in Ecclesiastes about staying away from prostitutes. In the GNB they replace "prostitutes" with "women".

It's kinda funny, since my parents go to a United Church, and they're one of the most tolerant denominations!


From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 06 July 2001 12:15 PM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Actually, skdadl, knew that. I have Tyndale, let me go compare...
From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 06 July 2001 12:20 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Forgive me for sounding preachy, if I did. I only knew about Tyndale because last year one of his direct descendants, who was also a biblical scholar, died in Toronto and was written up quite wonderfully in the Grope's Lives Lived.

[ July 06, 2001: Message edited by: skdadl ]


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 06 July 2001 06:16 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was joking about the GNB being used only by fundamentalists. Though it is the crapiest version in existance. My fundamentalist family are Lutheran! Lutheran for god's sake! I thought that Luther wanted his followers to be more liberal! Actually I don't know, though lutheranism is supposed to be one of the liberal branches of protestantism. Does anyone know what Calvinism is? I know it's a branch of Christianity, but are they liberal? quaker? what-have-you? I could probably find out by myself, but I'm a bit too lazy for that
From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jared
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 803

posted 08 July 2001 05:59 PM      Profile for Jared     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
I was joking about the GNB being used only by fundamentalists. Though it is the crapiest version in existance.

I beg to differ (although of course it's not used only by zealots). The GNB's language is dumbed down, therefore the words are less ambiguous, much starker and less open to interpretation. For these cranks who take what the bible says literally, things are layed out in more black-and-white terms.

By the way, here's a "quote I dig": "Life is a dream already over." -Kerouac I think

[ July 08, 2001: Message edited by: Jared ]


From: Vancouver | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 09 July 2001 12:16 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Isn't Calvinism the protestant religion that is all about predestination? There are a certain number of "elect" who will be resurrected, the rest go to hell, and it's all predetermined by God?

Maybe that's a bit simplistic, but I think that's what it's all about. It was supposed to shift the emphasis away from the supposed Catholic idea of salvation by good works.

It's interesting, really. Back before protestantism, lending money for interest was considered a terrible thing to do - morally wrong. People who were blessed with more money were obligated to help the poor by giving them money, not lending it.

Then, protestantism with their ideas about predestination and the elect came along. This changed a lot of ideas, particularly about lending. People who were considered to be "the elect" generally lived "good" lives, and wealth was seen as an outward sign of favour by God, that you were part of the elect. So of course this led to poverty being seen as a sign of disfavour by God. Rich people began to see their wealth as an entitlement rather than social responsibility and therefore didn't see any reason why they shouldn't lend money for interest. After all, if poor people are poor either because it's their fault or because they were predestined by God to be so, then the rich technically didn't owe them anything and felt free to loan instead of give, and charge interest instead of straight principal.

But I'm still not absolutely positive that Calvinism is the doctrine of predestination although I'm pretty confident that it is.

[ July 09, 2001: Message edited by: Michelle ]


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 09 July 2001 01:27 AM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm fairly sure Calvinist doctrine is about predestination as well.
From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 09 July 2001 01:56 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Predestination of salvation only, I believe. Though it's thought of in terms of "God's grace" more than preordainment. The Catholic theology most like it is Jansenism. But in case I am full of it, let's look it up.

I used to have the Abingdon Dictionary of Living Religions, a fabulous reference. Now I can't find it... darn... Britannica, here I come:


Calvinism -- read up, kiddies

[edited to add stuff below]

Yes, that's right... predestination.


Predestination


Most Muslims believe in predestination -- strict predestination. There is no free will. "God saves whom he will, and leads astray whom he will." That tidies up the problem of evil, which is so troublesome for Christianity.

[ July 09, 2001: Message edited by: rasmus_raven ]


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 09 July 2001 05:25 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I checked with the Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance web site for Calvinism. The encyclopedia Brittanica made it look like Calvinism was extremely popular. I had to look for hours on the OCRT web site. Finnaly found it in the glossary. I heard about another strand of Christianity called Zwinglianism, couldn't find it at OCRT at all, but I'll look at encyclopedia Brittanica. BTW, you should all check out the OCRT web site, though it's not good if you're looking for Zwinglianism, or Calvinism, or the Moravians, it is good for everything else.
From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 09 July 2001 05:34 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
sorry for the double post, but here's an interesting map that show the areas where certain beliefs were popular. Click on the map to get an enlargement
From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 09 July 2001 07:52 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
One of the basic tennents of Calvanism was the insistance that a stuffed Tiger was not only a living, sentient creature, but that it also talked back and was capable of some quite poigniant insites on the human condition.

Calvin, after founding Calvinism, went on to create a time machine out of a cardboard box and spent the rest of his life chasing down paradoxes, and his past and future selves.

Thus, Calvinism dominated until the advent of Larsonism, which had a lot to do with cows.....


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Debra
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 117

posted 09 July 2001 07:58 PM      Profile for Debra   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Tommy so in other words Calvin was a follower of the Hobbsian theory?
From: The only difference between graffiti & philosophy is the word fuck... | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 10 July 2001 09:45 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
TP and earthmother:

I always run on the vague memory that a number of the early Protestant rebels were learning from each other, often enough in Switzerland in exile, and then developing national versions of doctrines we now lump vaguely together as Calvinist. John Knox, eg, was Scotland's Calvin -- but people commonly call some of the sterner Presbyterian stuff "Calvinist," I guess just because "Knoxian" sounds funny.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 12 July 2001 08:04 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Skdadl: You have to tell me how to get those other smilies!
From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 13 July 2001 09:56 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
meades, the real expert is 905er (aka the Link Man, too!) -- but you can get his links, and Michelle's (which is where laughing boy above comes from), and some others on the thread called Cool Emoticons -- which some people thought belonged under Oxymorons ...
From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 13 July 2001 06:08 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 

Can we make a Harris Smiley so i can put pukey here on one side and Mr. Monkey on the other ?

too many smileys, I'll drive everyone nuts!


From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 14 July 2001 12:27 AM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"I'd dream I fell & hurt my head my head on a fishbowl, hurt myself just bad enough to work graveyard shift at a convience store. A group of Hari Krishnas always came in at 4am and bought 16 gallons of Mr. Slushi and a package of banana flavored Ding Dongs, then the Swedish Bikini Team jumped out of a magazine and read Moby Dick to me inside a giant carton of cottage cheese. Why? I'd ask myself, what could it mean? Am I mad or is the world just a mystery to complex to understand?" ---Cornfed Pig, from "Duckman".
From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
alldaybreakfast
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1071

posted 19 July 2001 02:44 AM      Profile for alldaybreakfast     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Michelle, you reminded me of this one (which I have found to start interesting conversations whether or not one agrees with it):

"As much as a man may love or hate himself (and usually it is a blending of both together), there's no man who doesn't imagine that he is worthy of the love and admiration of women."
--George Garrett

Maybe that's the source of the indignation of those men ... you know, the ones who are angry about having been left by those man-hating crypto-lesbians: they've been wronged!


From: Toronto | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
'lance
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1064

posted 19 July 2001 06:34 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"The law in its majestic impartiality forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets and to steal bread." (Anatole France)

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
(Mark Twain, at least according to Reader's Digest)

Here's a good Mark Twain page:

Mark Twain quotations

I could have been a dilletante, if only I'd applied myself to it...


From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 29 July 2001 09:14 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
If a man speaks in the forest,

and there is no woman there to hear him --

is he still wrong?

(sorry: t-shirt slogan)


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
'lance
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1064

posted 29 July 2001 04:15 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Thus, Calvinism dominated until the advent of Larsonism, which had a lot to do with cows.....

I think you have your sequence wrong. Larsonism predated Calvinism, although it had little discernable influence on it.

Then there was Breathedarianism, which was what happened when you studied Kellyism and Trudeauism, then attended a peyote ceremony.

Sadly, Breathedarianism fell victim to the purism of its creator, and has lost much of its congregation, being confined only to Sundays.

To get back on topic, sort of:

quote:
Heaven preserve me from littleness and pleasantness and smoothness.
Give me great glaring vices, but preserve me from the neat little neutral ambiguities.
Be wicked, be brave, be drunk, be reckless, be dissolute, be despotic,
be an anarchist, be a suffragette,
be anything you like, but for pity's sake be it to the top of your bent.
Live fully, live passionately, live disastrously.
Let's live, you and I, as none have ever lived before.
October 25th, 1918
Violet Treyfuss

George Grant said something similar, if shorter; approximately
"Live in the large!
Dare greatly, and if you must sin, sin nobly!"


From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 29 July 2001 06:47 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I say, if you must sin, don't get CAUGHT.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 29 July 2001 09:19 PM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Michelle, I am SO jealous! Your family has a Ford LTD Crown Victoria!


From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Socrataire
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1000

posted 29 July 2001 10:59 PM      Profile for Socrataire     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I dig this quote bigtime:

A GREETING FROM THE NINETEENTH TO THE TWENTIETH CENTURY BY MARK TWAIN
(DECEMBER 30, 1900)

"I bring you the stately matron named Christendom, handmaiden to Imperialism, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored, her halo battered from pirate-raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa and the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking glass."


From: WWW | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Victor Von Mediaboy
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 554

posted 30 July 2001 11:57 AM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"..." - Silent Bob
From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 30 July 2001 12:33 PM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"'...'" --Mediaboy quoting Silent Bob.

[ July 30, 2001: Message edited by: rasmus_raven ]


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
'lance
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1064

posted 30 July 2001 12:58 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Outside of a dog, a person's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

and

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

both Groucho Marx (now there was a Marxist to be reckoned with).


From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 30 July 2001 11:12 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Michelle, I am SO jealous! Your family has a Ford LTD Crown Victoria!

We do? I wish I'd known about that before buying my bus ticket to Toronto for this weekend...


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 30 July 2001 11:31 PM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I saw it in one of the pictures. I think it was your father washing that big minivan. You can *just* pick out a grey Ford LTD Crown Victoria behind it.

(Look at the taillights. They're nearly square. Only Ford LTDs had that kind of taillight design.)


From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 31 July 2001 12:09 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Oh, first of all, that's my step-brother (Dad's wife's son), and it's his minivan. His next door neighbours are his wife's parents (I kid you not). And his in-laws had a couple of their other kids over, so I don't know whose car that is behind the minivan (or even what type of car it is - I'll trust you on that one), but unfortunately, no one with very much of a connection to me... My Dad has a really nice luxury car though - that's the one thing he really goes all out on when he buys them, is cars. But considering he lives an hour away, I don't get much of the benefit of his car choices - except when he drives me to and from his place when I go to visit.

Nice to know people actually get past the index page.


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Socrataire
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1000

posted 31 July 2001 04:18 PM      Profile for Socrataire     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Quote I dig:

"Not all roads lead back to capital, but the major thoroughfares do."

I got that from a friend, WFA. He reads a lot but was unable to tell me the original source. I think he gets confused a lot, and calls himself an "information junkie."


From: WWW | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
marty raw
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1137

posted 31 July 2001 07:05 PM      Profile for marty raw     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"I wish all the scum of the earth had one throat and I had my hands around it." -Travis Bickle.

"With great power comes great responsibility." - Spiderman

"Criminals are a cowardly & superstitious lot." Batman


From: Toronto, baby | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
'lance
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1064

posted 06 August 2001 03:10 AM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Maybe it belongs in a lyrics thread, but I've always liked Leonard Cohen's

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in"

("Anthem," from The Future


From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 08 August 2001 12:16 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I just got this from WordSpy. The writer is talking about those silly (or pretentious) people who get their knickers all in a twist about mere usage:

quote:
Peremptory and unreasoned pronouncements as to what is bad English are not the least of the minor pests which vex our enlightened age; and the bulk of
them, as the better-informed are well aware, may be traced to persons who
have given only very slight attention to verbal criticism ... those would-be
philologists who collect waifs and strays of antipathies and prejudices,
amplify the worthless hoard by their own whimseys, and, to the augmentation
of vulgar error, digest the whole into essays and volumes.
--Fitzedward Hall, American philologist and essayist, "The Nineteenth
Century," 1880

From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Victor Von Mediaboy
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 554

posted 08 August 2001 01:13 PM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded." - unknown.
From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Marsin
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 443

posted 08 August 2001 11:34 PM      Profile for Marsin   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ut sementem feceris ita metes.
As thou hast sown, so shalt thou reap

From: Perth, Ontario | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
andrean
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 361

posted 08 August 2001 11:54 PM      Profile for andrean     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Nam tam praeclarum est scire latina quam turpe nescire.
or
It is not so admirable to know latin as it is disgraceful not to know it.
Credit, I believe, goes to Cicero and it's just about all the latin I still know!

From: etobicoke-lakeshore | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
sean s.
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 860

posted 09 August 2001 12:55 AM      Profile for sean s.   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Beneath the pavement, the beach (graffito, Paris, May '68)

[ August 09, 2001: Message edited by: sean s. ]


From: montreal | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
MJ
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 441

posted 09 August 2001 01:53 AM      Profile for MJ     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

- Terry Pratchett, from 'Reaper Man'


From: Around. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
clockwork
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 690

posted 09 August 2001 03:04 AM      Profile for clockwork     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Sorry, I just watched a Woody Allen movie, so I couldn’t help myself with this quote (among others I could use):
You can save your ass,
You can save your soul,
But you can’t save both.

From: Pokaroo! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
905er
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 602

posted 09 August 2001 09:06 AM      Profile for 905er     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties, but right through every human heart--and through all human hearts.

-- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn


From: in the middle of a sea of diapers | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Victor Von Mediaboy
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 554

posted 09 August 2001 10:20 AM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You can pick your friends,
And you can pick your nose,
But you can't pick your friend's nose!

From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Gayle
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 37

posted 09 August 2001 10:28 AM      Profile for Gayle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson


From: Cape Breton, Nova Scotia | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
sean s.
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 860

posted 09 August 2001 03:18 PM      Profile for sean s.   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Almost two millennia and not a single new God!" (Friedrich Nietzsche)
From: montreal | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 09 August 2001 03:23 PM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
STRIVING TO HUMOUR

Writing Techniques:

** Avoid alliteration. Always.
** Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
** Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
** Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
** Contractions aren't necessary.
** Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
** One should never generalize.
** Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
** Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's
highly superfluous.
** Be more or less specific.
** One-word sentences? Eliminate.
** Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
** Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
** Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
** Who needs rhetorical questions?
** Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

**********************************************

(Got this from the npi-d maillist. )


From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
sean s.
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 860

posted 10 August 2001 05:20 AM      Profile for sean s.   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"He who has once contracted Hegelianism or Schleiermacherism is never quite cured of them" - Nietzsche
From: montreal | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 10 August 2001 10:43 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
God is dead. - Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. - God
God and Nietzsche are dead. - Sartre

From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
paperdoll
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1165

posted 16 August 2001 05:10 PM      Profile for paperdoll     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
'no matter how new-age you get, old age is gonna kick your ass' -utah phillips.

'we always did feel the same, we just saw it from a different point of view' -b.dylan.

'he calls me miss spiritual tramp 1948' the girl said, and giggled. -j.d.salinger.

'love is the cry of the lamb on the altar' -l.s.


From: onscario | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
paperdoll
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1165

posted 16 August 2001 08:34 PM      Profile for paperdoll     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
jonothan went to the conductor and said "this is not a subway station, this is my house!". the conductor said, "if the subway stops here, then it's a subway station! you shouldn't build your house in a subway station. if you don't like it, go see city hall."
-robert munsch.

From: onscario | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 17 August 2001 04:34 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Paperdoll, I read that story to my son all the time. When I'm not reading him his favorite:

"Red Light. Green Light. Good Night."


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
'lance
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1064

posted 18 August 2001 09:55 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Saul Alinsky, approximately:

"The only way to beat organized money is with organized people."

(Thirty years ago he had the perfect take on "direct action" of the Black Bloc variety -- he meant, I think, lots of organized people...)


From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
DrConway
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 490

posted 18 August 2001 11:23 PM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Not only our future economic soundness but the very soundness of our democratic institutions depends on the determination of our government to give employment to idle men." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt
From: You shall not side with the great against the powerless. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
abnormal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1245

posted 18 August 2001 11:42 PM      Profile for abnormal   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
TANSTAAFL

"There ain't no such thing as a free lunch" from Heinlein's "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress"

In the real world this means a lot of things:

If you're a student and you want an A in a course you have to work for it.

If you want something you have to pay for it one way or another.

If you want money to pay for something you have to earn it or somebody has to give it to you.

If somebody gives it to you they had to earn it. An immediate corollary is "If government gives you the money someone else earned it."


From: far, far away | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
'lance
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1064

posted 18 August 2001 11:46 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Or more succinctly, if more despairingly:

TANJ

"There ain't no justice," from Larry Niven's books.

Used as a curse word, not spoken in polite company.


From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
clockwork
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 690

posted 19 August 2001 07:25 AM      Profile for clockwork     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
“The Money River, where the wealth of the nation flows. We were born on the banks of it – and so were most of the mediocre people we grew up with, sailed and played tennis with. We can slurp from that mighty river to our heart’s content. And we even take slurping lessons so we can slurp more efficiently.”
“Slurping lessons?”
“From lawyers! From tax consultants! From customers’ men! We’re born close enough to the river to drown ourselves and the next ten generations in wealth, simply using dippers and buckets. But we still hire experts to teach us the use of dams, reservoirs, siphons, bucket brigades, and the Archimedes’ screw. And our teacher in turn becomes rich, and their children become buyers of lessons in slurping.”
“I wasn’t aware that I slurped.”
“Born slurpers never are. And they can’t imagine what poor people talk about when they say they hear somebody slurping. They don’t even know what it means when somebody mentions the Money River. When one of us claims that there is no such thing as a Money River I think to myself, ‘My gosh, but that’s a dishonest and distasteful thing to say’ “
- excerpt from Kurt Vonnegut’s God Bless you Mr. Rosewater.

In the real world this means a lot of different things. But the most important is that there is no correlation between amount of work done and the amount of money earned.


From: Pokaroo! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 19 August 2001 08:28 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Right on, clockwork!

On the subject of that old line, There ain't no such thing as a free lunch ... Everyone pretends to have learned that "lesson," and yet what else is the (never honestly described) carrot dangled by the tax cutters and those who sell stocks to the wage-labourer? You too can become one of us; you too can leave the wage-slaves eating your dust, while you, like us, will be eating -- a free lunch!

Of course it's a lie -- but it is used and manipulated -- and fallen for -- by the very groups who claim to be too smart for it. Honestly, smart-mouth pop North American cant isn't much less hypocritical or offensive or dangerous than the pieties of high culture.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trisha
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 387

posted 19 August 2001 12:04 PM      Profile for Trisha     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"We've got to pause and ask outselves: How much clean air do we need?"-Lee Iacocca

"I have opinions of my own--strong opinions--but I don't always agree with them."-George Bush

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."-a congressional candidate in Texas (truth in advertising?)

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."-Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather."-Arab News Report (for further information, contact the airport?) I guess they don't have windows.


From: Thunder Bay, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trespasser
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1204

posted 19 August 2001 02:24 PM      Profile for Trespasser   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"I wear my sking only as thin as I have to, armor myself only as much as seems absolutely necessary. I try to live naked in the world, unashamed even under attack, unafraid even though I know how much there is to fear".

Dorothy Allison, "Skin: Talking About Sex, Class, and Literature"


From: maritimes | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
rasmus
malcontent
Babbler # 621

posted 20 August 2001 05:30 AM      Profile for rasmus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Those who dislike theory, or claim to get along better without it, are simply in the grip of an older theory." -- JM Keynes

Sums up my view of people who don't like "theory", or reflection, broadly considered. Usu. I find they know themselves little, and in particular don't know that they don't know themselves. There is danger in excessive navel-gazing, of course...

Any of a dozen Dorothy Parker quotations could go here.

In a Dottie Parker vein,

"Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder" -- Ernest Dowson

So sorry for that -- "O tempura! O morays!" See if you can track down the owner of that one... I forget.

Absinthe is making a comeback, minus the wormwood, I hear.

"From failure to failure right up to the final victory."

--Basque anarchist/sculptor Jorge Oteiza

[ August 20, 2001: Message edited by: rasmus_raven ]


From: Fortune favours the bold | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
marty raw
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1137

posted 20 August 2001 04:24 PM      Profile for marty raw     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"If you're going through hell, keep going."
-Winston Churchill

From: Toronto, baby | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
'lance
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1064

posted 09 September 2001 02:24 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Who, despite the pretensions of this society, can sleep in it in peace when they know that it derives its mediocre pleasures from the work of millions of dead souls?"

-- A. Camus, The Rebel

And clockwork -- your Woody Allen quote:

quote:
You can save your ass,
You can save your soul,
But you can’t save both.

has its echo in "The Shape I'm In," by The Band:

"Save yourself
Or save your brother
Looks like it's
One or the other..."

As for great bitchy remarks from the Dorothy Parker assembly line, rasmus_raven, did she say something like this?

"If all the debutantes at that ball were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised."


From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
905er
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 602

posted 09 September 2001 07:37 PM      Profile for 905er     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Dorothy Parker always seems to be trying to hard to coin those witticisms. Most of them leave me cold, but you guys dug out a couple good ones.

A favorite of mine is Mary McCarthy's great (and true) put-down of Lillian Hellman:

"Every word she writes is a lie, including and and the."


From: in the middle of a sea of diapers | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged

All times are Pacific Time  

Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | rabble.ca | Policy Statement

Copyright 2001-2008 rabble.ca