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Author Topic: Naming Children
jeff house
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posted 30 July 2008 01:14 PM      Profile for jeff house     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
In some jurisdictions, you can give your children whatever name you wish.

In this Arkansas case, the parents were unmarried, and the father disagreed with the mother's choice of name for the child.

The father wanted the child to be named "Samuel Charles Speir", Speir being the father's last name.

The following discussion occurred between the judge and the mother:

quote:
The Court: I simply do not understand why you named this child - - his legal name is Weather'by Dot Com Chanel Fourcast Sheppard. Now, before you answer that, Mr. - - the plaintiff in this action is a weatherman for a local television station.

Sheppard: Yes.

The Court: Okay. Is that why you named this child the name that you gave the child?

Sheppard: It - - it stems from a lot of things.

The Court: Okay. Tell me what they are.

Sheppard: Weather'by - - I've always heard of Weatherby as a last name and never a first name, so I thought Weatherby would be - - and I'm sure you could spell it b-e-e or b-e-a or b-y. Anyway, Weatherby.

The Court: Where did you get the "Dot Com"?

Sheppard: Well, when I worked at NBC, I worked on a Teleprompter computer.

The Court: All right.

Sheppard: All right, and so that's where the Dot Com [came from]. I just thought it was kind of cute, Dot Com, and then instead of - - I really didn't have a whole lot of names because I had nothing to work with. I don't know family names. I don't know any names of the Speir family, and I really had nothing to work with, and I thought "Chanel"? No, that's stupid, and I thought "Shanel," I've heard of a black little girl named Shanel.

The Court: Well, where did you get "Fourcast"?

Sheppard: Fourcast? Instead of F-o-r-e, like your future forecast or your weather forecast, F-o-u, as in my fourth son, my fourth child, Fourcast. It was - -

The Court: So his name is Fourcast, F-o-u-r-c-a-s-t?

Sheppard: Yes. . . .

The Court: All right. Now, do you have some objection to him being renamed Samuel Charles?

Sheppard: Yes.

The Court: Why? You think it's better for his name to be Weather'by Dot Com Chanel

- -

Sheppard: Well, the - -

The Court: Just a minute for the record.

Sheppard: Sorry.

The Court: Chanel Fourcast, spelled F-o-u-r-c-a-s-t? And in response to that question, I want you to think about what he's going to be - - what his life is going to be like when he enters the first grade and has to fill out all [the] paperwork where you fill out - - this little kid fills out his last name and his first name and his middle name, okay? So I just want - - if your answer to that is yes, you think his nameis better today than it would be with Samuel Charles, as his father would like to name him and why. Go ahead.

Sheppard: Yes, I think it's better this way.

The Court: The way he is now?

Sheppard: Yes. He doesn't have to use "Dot Com." I mean, as a grown man, he can use whatever he wants.

The Court: As a grown man, what is his middle name? Dot Com Chanel Fourcast?

Sheppard: He can use Chanel, he can use the letter "C."

The Court: And when he gives his Birth Certificate - - is it on his birth Certificate as you've stated to the Court? Does his Birth - - does this child's Birth Certificate read "Weather'by Dot com" - -

Sheppard: That's how I filled out the paperwork for his - -

The Court: - - Chanel Fourcast?

Sheppard: Yes, and for his Social Security card, I filled it out as Weather'by F. Sheppard.

The Court: All right.


http://courts.arkansas.gov/opinions/2004a/20040407/ca03-454.html


From: toronto | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
HeywoodFloyd
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posted 30 July 2008 01:34 PM      Profile for HeywoodFloyd     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Weatherby.com is a firearms manufacturer website. They make very good guns.
From: Edmonton: This place sucks | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
aka Mycroft
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posted 30 July 2008 01:43 PM      Profile for aka Mycroft     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Freakanomics has an interesting chapter on naming and mentions the story of a man, Robert Lane, who named one of his sons Loser and the other one Winner. Interestingly, Winner grew up to become a habitual criminal who spent most of his life in prison while Loser became a police sergeant.

The book also mentioned an LA family that named their twins LeMongello and O'Rangello (pronounced Lemon Jell-O and Orange Jell-O)

And of course, a judge in New Zealand this month made a child named Tula Does The Hula From Hawaii a ward of the court in order to give her a less unusual name.

[ 30 July 2008: Message edited by: aka Mycroft ]


From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
aka Mycroft
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posted 30 July 2008 01:48 PM      Profile for aka Mycroft     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
At university I knew a guy who had the last name Hall. He vowed that if he ever had kids he'd name one "Fuck" and the other "Sweet Fuck". Don't know if he kept that promise.
From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
lagatta
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posted 30 July 2008 07:32 PM      Profile for lagatta     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
In many countries (and I don't mean dictatorships) parents do not have the right to give their children names that would expose them to ridicule.

Tired now. Must research this later....


From: Se non ora, quando? | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sven
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posted 30 July 2008 08:46 PM      Profile for Sven     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Frank Zappa, and his wife Gail, wanted to name one of their sons Dweezil. But, the hospital refused to let them call their some such a name. They were more than a bit piqued so they rattled off the more "normal-sounding" name of Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa (and that's what the hospital put down on his birth certificate). But, his family called him Dweezil anyway. When he was five and was told about it, he insisted on having his name officially changed to "Dweezil"--and that's what they did.
From: Eleutherophobics of the World...Unite!!!!! | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sven
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posted 30 July 2008 08:48 PM      Profile for Sven     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
By the way, Dweezil and his wife have a daughter named Zola Frank Zappa.

And, don't forget one of Frank's daughter's name is "Moon Unit" (their second choice for her name was "Motorhead")


From: Eleutherophobics of the World...Unite!!!!! | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Le Téléspectateur
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posted 30 July 2008 11:27 PM      Profile for Le Téléspectateur     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Interesting topic. Naming is such a weird and culture-bound challenge. My partner and I are trying to name our child right now and the Zappa kids have come up a couple of times.
From: More here than there | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged
Briguy
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posted 31 July 2008 03:47 AM      Profile for Briguy     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Someone in Halifax immediately put their Elton John concert tickets (4, at an outrageous total cost of ~$450) up for sale on Kijiji for the following price: The right to pick a name for a child born between the ticket sale date and the concert date, or for a larger sum of cash (I can't remember the exact number).

Two days later, the tickets were marked as sold. No word on if a child named Candleinthewind is the result of the transaction.

PS - I shit you not. I wish I was making this up. Elton John concert tickets really were over $100 at the box office.


From: No one is arguing that we should run the space program based on Physics 101. | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Skinny Dipper
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posted 31 July 2008 05:21 AM      Profile for Skinny Dipper   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I knew of two professors whose names were Dr. De'ath and Dr. Dikshit. I'm not kidding. I believe the second name is South Asian. Sometimes it is spelled, Dixit.

Then, there was Sister Kuntz (pronounced koonts).


From: Ontarian for STV in BC | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Ghislaine
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posted 31 July 2008 05:26 AM      Profile for Ghislaine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Briguy - that is crazy. I hope they reveal the chosen name!

The 80 yr old organist in my church growing up had the literal name of "Pix Butt", short for Pixie Butt. As children, we were warned before each and every service that we were NOT to laugh when her name was being read out. The poor woman was named long before it would have been considered crass I am sure - but it was awfully difficult holding in the laughter!


From: L'Î-P-É | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 31 July 2008 05:42 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was sure, as soon as I read it in this thread, that "Winner" and "Loser" story was an urban legend - but apparently not!
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 31 July 2008 05:44 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Le Téléspectateur:
Interesting topic. Naming is such a weird and culture-bound challenge. My partner and I are trying to name our child right now and the Zappa kids have come up a couple of times.

Hey...congratulations! [Insert adoring baby talk here...]


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
kropotkin1951
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posted 31 July 2008 11:27 AM      Profile for kropotkin1951   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Interesting about Zappa's kid wanting to be Dweezil. Back in the day I knew a couple who named their boy a hippyish name like Moonbeam or Starrise or some such thing. After only a few months in grade one he told everyone that from then on his name was Peter. He obviously got the part about opening your children to ridicule. However if your daddy was Zappa ...
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Polly Brandybuck
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posted 31 July 2008 12:55 PM      Profile for Polly Brandybuck     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I knew a hippyish couple with two daughters, Misty Dawn and Crystal Brook. Not bad shortened to Misty and Crystal, but of course we called them creek and foggy and it stuck.

Foggy still answers to that, 35 years later lol.

I named my kids common short mostly one syllable names that are easy to spell. Had a horrible mouthful of a handle growing up and didn't want to pass that one on.


From: To Infinity...and beyond! | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Stephen Gordon
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posted 31 July 2008 03:02 PM      Profile for Stephen Gordon        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Michelle:
I was sure, as soon as I read it in this thread, that "Winner" and "Loser" story was an urban legend - but apparently not!

There was another example in the book; not documented, but too amusing not to publish. Roland Fryer was once a guest on a radio call-in show on the subject, and he talked to a woman who was upset about the name given her niece. It was to be pronounced 'shu-TEED', but the name that would appear on her birth certificate was spelled 'Shithead'.


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Sineed
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posted 31 July 2008 04:21 PM      Profile for Sineed     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Sounds like the Sat Night Live skit where the guy receives a telegram for "Mr. Asswipe Johnson," and he replies, "That's ahs-WEEP-ay."

And congrats to Le Téléspectateur.


From: # 668 - neighbour of the beast | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Robespierre
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posted 01 August 2008 01:17 AM      Profile for Robespierre     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This is the best thread ever started by jeff. Good job.

If I had a boy I'd want to name him Blackbeard, if a girl, Anne Bonny.


From: Raccoons at my door! | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Timebandit
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posted 04 August 2008 09:23 AM      Profile for Timebandit     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
There are some wacky names out there. There was a kid in my daughter's kindergarten class named G-bar. There's also had a boy in the school named Ringo. Then there's the competition for most bizarre spelling of more common names...

Not that I'm disinclined to alternative spellings, necessarily. My own name has an odd spelling, since I was named after my grandfather and my mother wanted to feminize it, even though it's one of those unisex names. However, there are days when I wish I didn't have to spell the whole thing out (always have to spell out surname as well, nobody ever gets it right). Sometimes I don't, and just consider it close enough for jazz.


From: Urban prairie. | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged

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