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Author Topic: "We're Not French," French's Mustard Swears
'lance
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posted 28 March 2003 02:24 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
From the Creeping Surrealism Department:

quote:
WAYNE, N.J. - The maker of French's mustard, worried that some Americans may boycott its product becaue of the French-led campaign against the Iraq war, has issued a news release saying it's not French.

"The only thing French about French's Mustard is the name," the company announced.

The mustard-maker said it felt obliged to hire a PR company to set the record straight after some media reports suggested it was dbeing – or should be – boycotted because of its "French" links.



From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
kuba walda
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posted 28 March 2003 02:29 PM      Profile for kuba walda        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
But Freedom Mustard has such a nice ring to it.
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Michelle
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posted 28 March 2003 02:32 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This is hilarious.

But really, what else could the company do? I mean, if you see your sales going down the tubes because of a misconception...


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
ronb
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posted 28 March 2003 02:36 PM      Profile for ronb     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Curse the chronically underfunded American public education system?
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Tommy Shanks
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posted 28 March 2003 02:40 PM      Profile for Tommy Shanks     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yeah, there can't possibly be anyone named French in the US. Its positivly anti-American.

Whats next? Tear down the Statue of Liberty? Refuse to travel to Paris, TX? Boycott Brittany (sp.) Spears? Refuse to use the word Nice?

Oh the humanity....

[ 28 March 2003: Message edited by: Tommy Shanks ]


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kuba walda
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posted 28 March 2003 02:46 PM      Profile for kuba walda        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
PARIS TEXAS...... must be where the Dixie Chicks live.

GO DIXIE CHICKS!


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Mr. Magoo
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posted 28 March 2003 02:55 PM      Profile for Mr. Magoo   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I, for one, have stopped watching old reruns of "Family Affair" until Mr. French cleans up his act. I've also written several angry letters to the Department of Cultural Affairs suggesting that we change our second offical language to Esperanto.
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Michael Hardner
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posted 28 March 2003 03:12 PM      Profile for Michael Hardner   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Tear down the Statue of Liberty?

I read where somebody actually wants to do this...


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Tommy Shanks
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posted 28 March 2003 03:12 PM      Profile for Tommy Shanks     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
that sounds like a rather salacious show Mr. Magoo. Who is this Mr. French you refer to....

On the same vein, we should destroy all copies of Grease due to the presence of that horrible "Frenchy" character.

I would say the same about Pulp Fiction, but Jules is a real badass.

In other news Target is back to it's origional pronounciation, instead of the upscale "Tar-jay" they were using.

Any yank store that stats with Le or La (such as Le Stripjoint, La Burgermeister, or La Deda) should also be blacklisted.

[ 28 March 2003: Message edited by: Tommy Shanks ]


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Mr. Magoo
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posted 28 March 2003 04:16 PM      Profile for Mr. Magoo   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
that sounds like a rather salacious show Mr. Magoo. Who is this Mr. French you refer to....

He played butler/nanny to two young kids and their bachelor uncle. But the important thing is that his name is French! He's indirectly supporting an empire of surrender-monkeydom!


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Doug
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posted 28 March 2003 04:28 PM      Profile for Doug   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yes, but I bet they make Dijon mustard, which is FRENCH! *gasp*
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Michelle
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posted 28 March 2003 04:30 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yeah, but they also make "dijonnaise" don't they? For those who are too lazy to open up two containers.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
swallow
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posted 28 March 2003 04:43 PM      Profile for swallow     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Just so long as they don't sell it in Cannes. Or try to serve it on Hamburgers (cuz decent patriots hate the Germans too). And they really need to change the colour, those yellow-bellied surrender-monkeys who are so prone Toulouse all their wars. (Only don't change it to burgundy.)

Sheesh, maybe it's time the US government banned the word sane. Sounds too much like a French river.


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Mycroft_
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posted 28 March 2003 04:46 PM      Profile for Mycroft_     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Wonder what they're going to call turkeys now?
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ronb
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posted 28 March 2003 04:47 PM      Profile for ronb     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Eagles?
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'lance
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posted 28 March 2003 04:51 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Well, Ashcroft is hardly likely to sing "Let the Turkey Soar", now is he?

Though as ideas go, this war's best described as a turkey.


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kuba walda
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posted 28 March 2003 04:53 PM      Profile for kuba walda        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You'd think that would be illegal? Oh I forgot.... its the US anything is possible.
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ronb
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posted 28 March 2003 04:56 PM      Profile for ronb     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Delicious birds of freedom!
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'lance
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posted 28 March 2003 05:02 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Likely enough -- especially as the turkey's native to North American. Nuthin' furrin about a turkey, nossir.
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nonsuch
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posted 29 March 2003 10:16 AM      Profile for nonsuch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Tear down the Statue of Liberty?

In the circumstances, France should demand it back.


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DrConway
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posted 29 March 2003 02:42 PM      Profile for DrConway     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
They should at least demand money for it since the gift has been ill-used.
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skdadl
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posted 29 March 2003 03:16 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Remember the Coneheads?

If anyone you meet thinks you're odd, the little Coneheads were instructed, just tell them, "We're from France."

I still think that that line is even more telling than Rick Mercer's Talking to Americans.


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audra trower williams
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posted 29 March 2003 03:40 PM      Profile for audra trower williams   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
the press release.
From: And I'm a look you in the eye for every bar of the chorus | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
SamL
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posted 29 March 2003 03:44 PM      Profile for SamL     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Dijon? What's this? Boycott the surrender monkeys!
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skdadl
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posted 29 March 2003 03:51 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ah, but SamL: Can you write that in the subjunctive? How about ... the passe simple?
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