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Author Topic: Song that sums up Toronto
Jay Williams
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Babbler # 11367

posted 31 December 2005 02:06 PM      Profile for Jay Williams        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Toronto Sucks, by 3 Dead Trolls in a Baggie

I hate the skydome and the CN tower too
I hate Nathan Phillips' Square and the Ontario Zoo
The rent's too high, the air's unclean
The beaches are dirty, and the people are mean
And the women are big, and the men are dumb
And the children are loopy cause they live in a slum
The water is polluted and the mayors a dork
They dress real bad and they think they're New York
In Toronto, Ontario


From: Toronto | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kevin_Laddle
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Babbler # 8163

posted 31 December 2005 02:28 PM      Profile for Kevin_Laddle   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Kicking people when they are down, real classy.

Fuck off asshole.


From: ISRAEL IS A TERRORIST STATE. ASK THE FAMILIES OF THE QANA MASSACRE VICTIMS. | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Transplant
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Babbler # 9960

posted 31 December 2005 02:50 PM      Profile for Transplant     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Jay Williams:
Toronto Sucks, by 3 Dead Trolls in a Baggie

Yeah, but in the rest of the song they go on to state their "hate" of the entire rest of Canada, except for Alberta.

So, then, isn't the song really about the myopic arrogance of some Albertans?


From: Free North America | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Makwa
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Babbler # 10724

posted 31 December 2005 02:53 PM      Profile for Makwa   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I don't want to go to Toronto
Radio Free Vestibule

I don't want to go to Toronto
I don't want to go
All of the blocks are square
None of the streets are twisted
None of the streets are paved with bricks
There's too many elevators in Toronto
Not enough stairs in Toronto
Not enough stairs
All of the food in Toronto is made of edible oil products
They don't have bagels in Toronto
They have doughnuts
Doughnuts made of edible oil
I don't like doughnuts
They don't have bagels
I don't want to go to Toronto
People don't have faces in Toronto
They have cigarette ads instead
They listen to your phone calls
There's a tower in Toronto that controls people's minds
It's illegal to possess brightly coloured balloons in Toronto
Illegal to own brightly coloured balloons
All of the children in Toronto must wear suits
Even the girls
Three piece suits
The buildings in Toronto have no windows
I don't want to go
Everyone lives in sub-terrainian caverns
Filled with doughnuts made of edible oil
I don't want to go
Nobody goes to the bathroom in Toronto
They have a special operation
They have it removed surgically
There's a tax on all wicker goods in Toronto
There's huge buildings with no windows
And streets with no curves
And inside you find little girls in suits
Running around with black balloons
And munching on edible oil products
The kids don't have names
They have numbers which are assigned to them at birth
They're called three hundred and eighty seven point seven
Four hundred and twelve point nine
And they all have cigarette ads instead of faces
I don't want to go to Toronto
I don't want to go
I have plenty of wicker goods
I don't want a tax on my wicker goods
I like going to the bathroom
I don't want to go the hospital
I don't want to go to Toronto
I don't want to go
Do I have to go to Toronto?
Do I?
Do i have to go?
I don't want to go
Do i have to go to Toronto?
I don't want to go


From: Here at the glass - all the usual problems, the habitual farce | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
fake_oxygen
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posted 31 December 2005 03:39 PM      Profile for fake_oxygen     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
THat last song is made by a group of Montrealers disgruntled about the threat of Toronto's bagel industry rivalling that of Montreal.
From: Peterborough | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jay Williams
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Babbler # 11367

posted 31 December 2005 04:28 PM      Profile for Jay Williams        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Kevin_Laddle:
Kicking people when they are down, real classy.

Fuck off asshole.


No, YOU fuck off, asshole.


From: Toronto | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Tehanu
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posted 31 December 2005 04:33 PM      Profile for Tehanu     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Such warm fuzzies all round.
From: Desperately trying to stop procrastinating | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stargazer
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posted 31 December 2005 04:40 PM      Profile for Stargazer     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Oh more Toronto bashing! How witty!
From: Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Makwa
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posted 31 December 2005 04:57 PM      Profile for Makwa   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Stargazer:
Oh more Toronto bashing! How witty!
I live in the City of York. My brain hasn't amalgamated yet.

From: Here at the glass - all the usual problems, the habitual farce | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
FabFabian
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posted 01 January 2006 05:48 PM      Profile for FabFabian        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Dirty Old Town" maybe?
From: Toronto | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
ohara
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posted 01 January 2006 06:02 PM      Profile for ohara        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Actually I had always understood that the song "Toronto Sucks" was written by the Arrogant Worms.

[ 01 January 2006: Message edited by: ohara ]


From: Ottawa | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
kuri
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posted 01 January 2006 06:10 PM      Profile for kuri   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
No it was 3 Dead Trolls.

From the Worms' site:

quote:
And as cool as these songs are...
we do not sing, or have ever sung,

* The War of 1812,
* The Toronto Song,
* The Ontario Song,
* Toronto Sucks or
* Ontario Sucks.

They are by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie. You should look them up at www.deadtroll.com

Other songs we never wrote include:

* Cows with Guns - Dana Lyons
* Wayne Gretzky Rocks - TPOH



From: an employer more progressive than rabble.ca | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Yst
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Babbler # 9749

posted 01 January 2006 06:10 PM      Profile for Yst     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by ohara:
Actually I had always understood that the song "Toronto Sucks" was written by the Arrogant Worms.

It is constantly falsely attributed to them. I therefore doubt any claim it was written by them. Especially given that it is clearly written from an Albertan perspective, and Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie are based out of Alberta, whereas the Arrogant Worms are Ontarians based out of Toronto.


From: State of Genderfuck | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Yst
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posted 01 January 2006 06:15 PM      Profile for Yst     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ah, and it seems Kurichina beat me to the proof. Nice find. Weird Al has a similar situation, where virtually anything 1) Comedic and 2) American get attributed to him at some point.
From: State of Genderfuck | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jay Williams
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Babbler # 11367

posted 01 January 2006 08:36 PM      Profile for Jay Williams        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Yst:
Ah, and it seems Kurichina beat me to the proof. Nice find. Weird Al has a similar situation, where virtually anything 1) Comedic and 2) American get attributed to him at some point.

When I first heard "1985" by Bowling for Soup, I swore that it was by Weird Al.

[ 01 January 2006: Message edited by: Jay Williams ]


From: Toronto | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
ohara
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Babbler # 7961

posted 02 January 2006 08:46 AM      Profile for ohara        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Live and learn
From: Ottawa | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
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Babbler # 478

posted 02 January 2006 08:49 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Cows with Guns" - now, there is a song. One of my favourites.
From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
voice of the damned
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Babbler # 6943

posted 02 January 2006 09:16 AM      Profile for voice of the damned     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
quote:
Originally posted by Kevin_Laddle:
Kicking people when they are down, real classy.
Fuck off asshole.

No, YOU fuck off, asshole.


I'm curious as to how exactly Toronto as a city can be considered "down".


From: Asia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Accidental Altruist
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Babbler # 11219

posted 02 January 2006 11:57 AM      Profile for Accidental Altruist   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I assumed it was a reference to the Boxing Day shooting.
From: i'm directly under the sun ... ... right .. . . . ... now! | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged

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