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Author Topic: Funny movie censorship
Anchoress
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4650

posted 09 April 2005 03:39 AM      Profile for Anchoress     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I found this thread on another board, edited the funny parts and reproduced it. It's a list by a bunch of users of the funniest movie censorship they'd encountered.

quote:
Die Hard with a Vengeance-(*beep*)my friend, melon farmer

Die Hard/Die Hard 2-yippe kay-ay mister falcon

The Usual Suspects-(*beep* *beep*)fairy godmother

American Pie-Mother I'd like to FEEL

Half-Baked on Comedy Central -"Weed's not a drug, did you ever suck a toe for weed? I sucked toe for coke."

Die Hard With a Vengeance-yippie ka ya mother fooker changed to: yippie ka ya my friend

Tango and Cash: 'Rambo is a pussy' changed to 'Rambo is a primitive'...

Aliens: 'I say we grease the rat fvck son of a bitch right now' was once changed to something that sounded like 'You eat rat'!!!

Die Hard one was on ITV1 a while go and at the end when Alan Rickman is about to kill John McClane his says yippie ka ya kimo sabe instead of the swearing.

Lethal Weapon 2-Joe Pesci's charecter, Leo Getz, says son of a b*itch, but they edit it to 'son of a snitch'.

Blackhawks when the Stallone character was chasing the villain in the subway and they substituted buzzard for bastard. The dialogue goes like this."Get that buzzard" "What buzzard?" "That buzzard!" "You BUZZARD!!!!!!!

Happy Gilmore: "Golf requires goofy pants and a fat can. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer, huge can."
and
"If i saw myself in pants like that I'd have to kick my own can"

Scarface
"Where'd you get that beauty scar tough guy, eatin p-ussy? Becomes "Where'd you get that beauty scar tough guy, eatin PINEAPPLE!"
"This town like a great big p-ussy just waiting to be *beep* becomes "This town like a great big CHICKEN just waiting to be PLUCKED"

The Breakfast Club on TBS: "I don't think that I need to sit with you *ucking a$$sholes anymore." = "I don't think that I need to sit with you stinking dummies anymore."

One of the worst censor jobs was on tbs and towards the end of Dumb and Dumber
harry: just tell me were to sign
lloyd: rite here on my ass after u kiss it
harry: just tell me were to sign
lloyd: rite here on my SANDWICH after u kiss it

The worst one I've ever seen was on The Rock on, I think, TBS
Mason: Womack! Why am I not surprised you piece of sh!t!
(censored version) Mason: Womack! Why am I not surprised you piece of DIRT!
It wasn't so much the word they changed it to, but the person who dubbed the word "dirt" had an obviously American accent as opposed to Connery's heavy British accent.

The last line in Half Baked on TBS is changed from "I love weed, but not as much as I love p*ssy!" to "I love weed, but not as much as I love PUDDING!"

Let's not forget the most bizarre example of censorship; The Big Lebowski. It's so utterly dumb that it's almost not even funny!
"Do you see what happens when you phuck a stranger in the ass?!?"
into:
"Do you see what happens when you FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?!?"



From: Vancouver babblers' meetup July 9 @ Cafe Deux Soleil! | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
Agent 204
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4668

posted 09 April 2005 04:30 AM      Profile for Agent 204   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Two examples (one I've seen, one I've only read about):

In Back to the Future, near the end where Michael J. Fox's character says "Do we grow up to be assholes or something?" the word "assholes" was changed to "jerks".

And reportedly, the version of Rainman that was shown on airliners had the segment where Dustin Hoffman's character recites air crash statistics deleted entirely.


From: home of the Guess Who | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
Reality. Bites.
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 6718

posted 09 April 2005 06:10 AM      Profile for Reality. Bites.        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
1. Not on Quantas. Definitely not on Quantas.

2. Also in The Breakfast Club, Judd Nelson's question to Molly Ringwald about Emilio Estevez "Does he slip you the hot beef injection?" becomes "Does he give you love and affection?"

Curiously, she still reacts with disgust.


From: Gone for good | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
quagmire
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8028

posted 09 April 2005 08:10 AM      Profile for quagmire   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was in Singapore in '87, they showed 'The Graduate' on tv. The next day their was a fair hullabalu in the newpapers about showing decadent western movies on tv.
From: Directly above the center of the Earth | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
thwap
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Babbler # 5062

posted 09 April 2005 08:10 AM      Profile for thwap        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
find a stranger in the alps???

The profanity is a necessary element of that ciniematic masterpiece.

The Big Lebowski is one of my favourite movies of all time!

"Yeah, but tell me dude; Do you have to use so many cuss-words?"

"What the fuck are you talking about man?"

(Smiles and sadly shakes his head): "Have it yer way dude."


From: Hamilton | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Stephen Gordon
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4600

posted 09 April 2005 08:28 AM      Profile for Stephen Gordon        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I wish that someone would make a bowlerised dialogue track for 'Clerks'. That would actually be pretty funny. It'd be not far from Woody Allen taking the dialogue from a Japanese movie and turning it into 'What's new, tiger lily'.
From: . | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
swirrlygrrl
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Babbler # 2170

posted 09 April 2005 10:06 AM      Profile for swirrlygrrl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'll admit I loved those Showcase "Wanna see it uncut" commercials where they made fun of such editing. "The Usual Suspects" line up became "Give me the keys, you fuzzy sock sucker," and for "The Big Lebowski," it was "they tinkled on your lovely rug." HA!
From: the bushes outside your house | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged

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