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Author Topic: Halloween costumes
aRoused
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1962

posted 27 October 2004 06:16 AM      Profile for aRoused     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Going to a Halloween party this Saturday. My girlfriend is in town and she's been looking for a costume to wear. She's inherited some stuff from friends that moved away, so she's trying to cobble something together from those leavings.

Thing is, what she's inherited is some theatrical makeup that can be used to simulate wounds and bruises. So she wants to put bruises all over herself and go as a 'person who's been beaten up'. Thank Crom she didn't say 'as a battered housewife' or words to that effect, I'd have needed a ladder to get down off the roof after I hit it.

HOLY BAD TASTE, BATMAN!

So what do you think? Am I being oversensitive?

And if I'm not, anyone got any advice for talking her out of it?

[ 27 October 2004: Message edited by: aRoused ]


From: The King's Royal Burgh of Eoforwich | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
fuslim
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5546

posted 27 October 2004 07:34 AM      Profile for fuslim     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Rule number one, two, three...and so on

Don't (do not - under any circumstances) argue with a girlfriend.

You lose.


From: Vancouver BC | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 27 October 2004 08:13 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I wouldn't try to talk her out of it. But you could tell her that if she dresses up that way for Hallowe'en, she won't be accompanied by you that night. I wouldn't frame it as a threat, I would just tell her that she has the right to dress as anything she likes, and you have the right not to participate in it if you don't like it. I would feel quite uncomfortable in your situation, and I am at the stage now where I won't put myself into that kind of position any longer.

BTW, I'd do it without anger, and frame it in terms of, "I understand it's important to you to go as a battered woman, and you're free to do so, and I have no hard feelings toward you for doing so - I just won't be accompanying you because it makes me feel very uncomfortable."

Easier said than done.


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Anchoress
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4650

posted 27 October 2004 08:17 AM      Profile for Anchoress     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm assuming she already knows how you feel about it? In which case, I'd say just button up about it. If you feel strongly about it don't go to the party with her, but IMO it's really arrogant to take the position that it's OK to try to talk someone out of dressing a certain way.

And on a personal note, I'd be absolutely furious if someone I was dating posted to a bulletin board asking for advice on how to talk me out of dressing a certain way.


From: Vancouver babblers' meetup July 9 @ Cafe Deux Soleil! | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
miss nomer
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 6700

posted 27 October 2004 08:59 AM      Profile for miss nomer     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
It's Halloween. What's the big deal? Like you said, she didn't say "battered housewife". If a man went to a party with bruises all over him, would that be a problem?

[ 27 October 2004: Message edited by: miss nomer ]


From: global village | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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Babbler # 560

posted 27 October 2004 09:05 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I suppose it's possible that she could be creative and call herself an extra in an action movie, or something like that.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 27 October 2004 09:12 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hallowe'en is weird. It gives people the oddest ideas. Maybe some are innocently creative, but many seem revealing of something ... atavistic?

The older I get, the more the whole ritual bothers me, but maybe that's just me. Ignore me. Carry on.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
aRoused
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1962

posted 27 October 2004 09:33 AM      Profile for aRoused     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Thanks everyone.

Anchoress: It's not so much the 'dressing the way they want' it's the 'dressing such as to look as though I'm the victim of domestic abuse'. I don't see that as an acceptable costume choice, particularly if I wind up spending the evening with people 'joking' about how I've beat her up.

As to the advice, I'm relying on an anonymous forum to get some advice on a topic I don't feel I can discuss with anyone around me. I take your point, but in the absence of any other option at short notice, I'll seek the advice of like-minded people whose opinions I genuinely value, computer-mediated or not.

skdadl: Worst I've ever seen was in 2001. I saw a kid at a party with half a plane stuck to his head. He was dressed as the Twin Towers. I'm told that after I left he started 'dropping' little plastic figurines out of his pockets--people jumping out of the buildings. Absolutely disgusting.


From: The King's Royal Burgh of Eoforwich | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 27 October 2004 09:51 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
aRoused, I'm mostly not a defender of good taste, and I'm not sure that it's the taste or the PCness/lack of same that I'm reacting to.

It's something else that bothers me -- maybe that some people, at least, don't quite realize what they are revealing about themselves in their costumes? Almost as though they'd gone out naked without noticing?


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Cannon Fodder
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 6839

posted 27 October 2004 07:49 PM      Profile for Cannon Fodder     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Michelle:
I suppose it's possible that she could be creative and call herself an extra in an action movie, or something like that.

She could always lie and say she walked into a door. Or she could say 'I told my boy friend I wanted to dress this way, and he hit the roof.'


From: Guelph | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Anchoress
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Babbler # 4650

posted 27 October 2004 07:59 PM      Profile for Anchoress     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by aRoused:
Thanks everyone.

Anchoress: It's not so much the 'dressing the way they want' it's the 'dressing such as to look as though I'm the victim of domestic abuse'.


Tomato tomato.

You said yourself she didn't actually say 'I'm dressing as though I'm the victim of domestic abuse'. I still say it's uncool to try to exert influence over someone's fashion choices, whatever the reason for those choices. Dare I say I think it displays an arrogant paternalism that is akin to abuse? No, too far. I'd probably get flamed for that.


From: Vancouver babblers' meetup July 9 @ Cafe Deux Soleil! | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
remind
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 6289

posted 27 October 2004 08:55 PM      Profile for remind     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
No, I do not think you have gone to far, anchoress, it is definitely not cool IMHO. As aRoused, stated it was because he was afraid of how her dressing like that would reflect upon himself.

Let's say it was the opposite direction, and he had wanted to cross dress for the party, and she was concerned about how that would reflect upon her image.


From: "watching the tide roll away" | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Ki No Ronin
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 7195

posted 27 October 2004 09:11 PM      Profile for Ki No Ronin     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I always get dressed up in my Wicca Paganistic Priest's Robes and go out with my Eucalyptus Blessing Staff, and I Bless people the whole day through.

In the evening, starting at about 4:00pm, I set up my Altar in the Lobby of the Apartment Building I manage. I light Candles on it, and I set up 3 Jack-O-Lanterns. I also put out lots of Candy for the Children Trick or Treaters.

Starting at about 9:00pm, I start setting off my Fireworks.

Ki No Ronin


From: New Westminster | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged

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