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Author Topic: Simpsonism
JCL
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posted 28 November 2001 03:24 AM      Profile for JCL     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Okay, there is one thing us lefties and righties can agree on. The Simpsons. That show is such a hoot. So intelligent and witty. Sometimes I find myself looking online trying to find out who such and such was or some event. However, the best place to look is here.

Lately, my fave Simpson moment is at the end of the episode where Homer was the football coach of Bart's team. While the end credsits are going, Homer is rattling off the names and saying who is cut and who stays.

From the same episode, Joe Namath (1960s-70s star quarterback for the NFL's New York Jets) makes an appearance. Bart asked Namath for some pointers. Namath says "There is one important thing to remember." Well, Namath's wife calls over and said she got the car started. So Namath gets up and as he walks away, he says to Bart, "Remember what I told you." And Namath told Bart nothing to help him to improve his quarterbacking ability.

And to steal an idea from the Simpsons, I put in the suggestion box at work that the place should build a 50 foot escalator to nowhere.


From: Winnipeg. 35 days to Christmas yet no snow here. | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
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posted 28 November 2001 03:54 AM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Lisa, I would like to purchase your rock.
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sherpafish
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posted 28 November 2001 04:20 AM      Profile for sherpafish   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Aaaarrrg! Squidy! I've got nuthin' a'genst ya. I jaest hiard der was GOLD 'n yer belly."
From: intra-crainial razor dust | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trinitty
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posted 28 November 2001 12:53 PM      Profile for Trinitty     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Go to the cupboard, remove all cookies and place them on the Simpson's doorstep."

"But those cookies belong to our parents"

(Sigh)"Look! DO you want a vengful God, or a happy God?"

"HAPPY GOD! HAPPY GOD!"


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Jared
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posted 28 November 2001 12:54 PM      Profile for Jared     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
(Scene: After the dog runs away from home)
Marge: Homer, get a hold of yourself. Remember, "doggy heaven"....
Homer: Oh Marge, I lied! There is no such place...
(*notices suddenly dejected faces of his children*)
...or, um, to put it another way, there is.

From: Vancouver | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Cosmorific
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Babbler # 33

posted 28 November 2001 12:55 PM      Profile for Cosmorific        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"I bent my wookie!"

Can't beat Ralph Wiggum for quoteability.


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Trinitty
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posted 28 November 2001 01:27 PM      Profile for Trinitty     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"I'm Idaho!"
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Victor Von Mediaboy
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posted 28 November 2001 02:23 PM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"When will people learn, democracy doesn't work!" - Homer
From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
sherpafish
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posted 28 November 2001 02:33 PM      Profile for sherpafish   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"No Ralfie, just put your head on your desk and go to sleep."
"SLEEP! Oh boy! That's where I'm a VIKING!"

From: intra-crainial razor dust | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jared
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posted 28 November 2001 02:36 PM      Profile for Jared     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Homer talking on phone:

"Oh, you're looking for Mr Plow? No, this is Tony Plow, you know, from Leave It To Beaver...*listens to voice on other end of phone*...yeah, they were gay." *hangs up*

[ December 01, 2001: Message edited by: Jared ]


From: Vancouver | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
clockwork
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posted 28 November 2001 02:38 PM      Profile for clockwork     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Dance instructor: I'm sorry, Lisa, but giving everyone an equal part when they're clearly not equal is called what, again, class?
Class: Communism!
Dance instructor: That's right. And I didn't tap all those Morse code messages to the Allies 'til my shoes filled with blood to just roll out the welcome mat for the Reds.

From: Pokaroo! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
doseq
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posted 28 November 2001 03:59 PM      Profile for doseq     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Homer to Bart: Trying is the first step towards failure
From: Quebec City | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
NDB
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posted 28 November 2001 04:46 PM      Profile for NDB     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
From the best political episode of the Simpsons ever, Sideshow Bob Roberts. Most of these are from the hilarious character Birchibald T. Barlow ("author of the well-selling book Only turkeys have left wings, and an AMAZING send-up of Rush Limbaugh). Other classics are indentified.

Homer:No no no guys, now I'm not very political. I usually think that people who vote are a bit...fruity. But for some reason this Birch Barlow really speaks to me.

"Good morning, fellow freedom-likers. Birch Barlow, the fourth branch of government, the fifty-first state . . . You know, there are three things we're never going to get rid of here in Springfield: one, the bats in the public library; two, Mrs. McFierly's compost heap; and three, our six-term mayor, the illiterate, tax-cheating, wife-swapping, pot-smoking, spendocrat Diamond Joe Quimby."
Quimby: Hey, I am, uh, no longer illiterate.

"Now why are we doomed to this Quimby quagmire, you ask, oh reasonable listener? Because this town is under the stranglehold of a few tie-dyed treehuggers, who would rather play hackysack, than lock up the homeless."

"So, my friends, let's just junk those Dumbocrats and their bleeding-heart smellfare program."


Sideshow Bob: Well...you see, Birch, I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?

"My-my-my friends, isn't this just typical? Another intelligent conservative here, railroaded by our liberal justice system. Just like . . . Colenel Oliver North, Officer Stacey Koon, and cartoon "smokesperson" Joe Camel. Well I've had it! I'm going to make it my mission to see that our friend Bob is set free."


Campaign Ad:Mayor Quimby supports revolving door prisons. Mayor Quimby even
released Sideshow Bob - a man twice convicted of attempted murder. Can you trust a man like Mayor Quimby? Vote Sideshow Bob for mayor.


Homer in the voting booth:Hmm . . . I don't agree with his Bart-killing policy, but I do approve of his Selma-killing policy.


From: Ottawa | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
JCL
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posted 28 November 2001 05:36 PM      Profile for JCL     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
*LOL* That episode was pretty good.

Another scene from that boy band episode where Lt. Smash of the US Navy was telling Lisa of what he's doing

Lt. Smash: There are 3 types of liminal messages. Subliminal, liminal and super liminal.

Lisa: What's super-liminal?

Smash: Watch.

He leans out the window and sees Carl and Lenny leaning against a mailbox. Smash yells at them to join the Navy. Lenny and Carl say alright, they'll join the Navy.

Later in the episode, Lt. Smash has a flashback to Vietnam. There are three hippies on a missile or something and they're pelting soldiers with flowers. A send up of that image where that woman is placing flowers in the gun barrels of soldiers during the Vietnam War protests. They're raining flowers on the soldiers. One soldier gets a flower in the forehead and drops to the ground screaming like he's been shot. Well, anyways, the 3 hippies are shouting anti-war slogans such as "Ban the bomb!" "make love not war" and the third hippie yelled "Burn down the barber shops."

Or when N'Synch makes a cameo to show them how to make a cool video. They also bring Bart, Nelson, Ralph and Milhouse a gift basket. They had a tazer included. They asked what did they need that for? One of the N'Synch guys says to clear a path in case fans get in front of you. Then the N'Synch member zaps a fellow bandmate and screams "OOOWWWWW. Yo." *LOL*

So many good moments in that episode.

Sherpa - What sphelling mistakes?
[ November 28, 2001: Message edited by: JCL ]

[ November 28, 2001: Message edited by: JCL ]


From: Winnipeg. 35 days to Christmas yet no snow here. | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
sherpafish
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posted 28 November 2001 11:06 PM      Profile for sherpafish   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Lt. Smash of the US Navy was telling Lisa of what he's dong
(bold is mine)

heh. freudian or sub-liminal?


From: intra-crainial razor dust | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doug
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posted 29 November 2001 01:11 AM      Profile for Doug   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
NDB: You missed the best line from that episode! "The dead have risen and they're voting Republican!"
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NDB
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posted 29 November 2001 05:05 PM      Profile for NDB     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Doug: Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!
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Trinitty
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posted 29 November 2001 05:28 PM      Profile for Trinitty     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
One of my favs is when Milhouse's parents get divorced.

Playing pictionary,

"Do you want me to ask the CAT?! Because the cat will get it!"

Later Homer and Milhouse's dad

"I sleep in a racing car, do YOU sleep in a racing car?"

"I sleep in a big bed with my wife."

"Oh"


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Snafu
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posted 29 November 2001 11:45 PM      Profile for Snafu     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Shouldn't overlook Snake Whacking Day episode. Fantastic.
From: Somewhere Out There | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
marty raw
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posted 30 November 2001 12:04 AM      Profile for marty raw     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm not a stabbing hobo, I'm a singing hobo.
(singing : ) I like living the hobo life...
stabbing folks with my hobo knife.

Would you like to go for a ride on my flying motorcycle?

Oh, i saw 'em...which is to say I seen 'em.

Why? Shut up, that's why!


From: Toronto, baby | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
marty raw
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posted 30 November 2001 12:30 AM      Profile for marty raw     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My co-workers and I speak Simpsonsese. We can go a surprisingly long time speaking entirely in Simpsons quotes.
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wagepeace
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posted 30 November 2001 04:52 AM      Profile for wagepeace     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Abe Simpson:

"Let me in.... I'm cold and there are wolves chasing me."

Homer trying to be Monty Burns talking to Mr. Burns mother on phone:

"Helloo, my name is Mr. Burns".


From: In a fog and on anti-psychotics | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Victor Von Mediaboy
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posted 30 November 2001 10:15 AM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
NDB
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posted 30 November 2001 01:04 PM      Profile for NDB     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
From the same episode:
Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?

Homer: Never, Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"


From: Ottawa | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trinitty
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posted 30 November 2001 01:15 PM      Profile for Trinitty     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Good one NDB!
From: Europa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Victor Von Mediaboy
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posted 30 November 2001 04:33 PM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Maybe, just once, someone will
call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene".

From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
NDB
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posted 30 November 2001 06:02 PM      Profile for NDB     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
[While running from several large, fire-breathing monsters]

Lisa: He said it was just a name!

Strange guy: What he meant was: Monster Island is actually a peninsula.


While sailing to Ape Island:

Lenny: I hear we're sailing to Ape Island.

Strange guy: What for?

Carl: Capture a giant ape.

Lenny: I wish we were goin' to Candy Apple Island?

Strange guy: Candy Apple Island, what do they have there?!

Carl: Apes. But they're not so big.


From: Ottawa | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
NDB
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posted 30 November 2001 06:12 PM      Profile for NDB     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"He says there are no easy answers! I say he's not looking hard enough!!!"

- Bart Simpson for President


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Tommy_Paine
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posted 30 November 2001 10:23 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
One of my favorite's is at the end of the Comet episode where Moe is heard to say "Let's burn down the observatory so this never happens again!" And, earlier guffaws also go to Moe for deadpanning: "We ain't got no shelterinies." In fact, the more I think about it, that particular episode is full of great bits.

I also think the "Krusty's Klown Kollege" is right up with the best. When Homer gets his pants caught in the tricycle...and Krusty says "uhhh...burn that seat" gets me everytime. But, again, there are tons of quotes from that one, and the little "Close Encounters" satire with the mashed pototoes is great, too.


I like the twisted syntax lines too, like Mayor Quimby's "Gentleman, it's time we faced up to the un-face-up-to-able." Or, "Seeing that the winds of popular opinion blow in a different direction, let it not be said that I do not also, er, blow."

Somtimes it's just a word or two, like the cop who says to Wigham, with a sidelong glance "I'll drive", in the "Who shot Mr. Burns" episode. Or, in the "Cape Fear" send off, Sideshow Bob's tepidatious "No" vote when Homer asks if he should take a shortcut through the cactus field.

Of course, we should always close with a song.

"Some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food,

The only thing I'm hunting for, is and outfit that looks goooooood".........


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Snafu
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posted 01 December 2001 04:05 PM      Profile for Snafu     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ralph Wiggam is always good for a quote. The episode where Springfield imposes a curfew for kids, at the end, they had a song. The seniors are griping at the kids and the adults. Ralph says to the seniors, after the crowd quieted down, "someone should iron you."

Good old Ralphie.


From: Somewhere Out There | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jared
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posted 01 December 2001 04:18 PM      Profile for Jared     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
(RIP George Harrison Simpsonism)

*Homer reminiscing about his days in the music industry*

Homer: ...and then I recieved one of the biggest thrills of my life.

*at Grammy after-party*

GH: Hello Homer, I'm George Harrison.

Homer: Oh my God!.....where did you get that brownie?

GH: Over there...there's a whole pile of them.

*Homer runs to table and begins devouring brownies*

Homer: Ohhh baby...

GH: What a nice fellow.


From: Vancouver | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
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posted 02 December 2001 10:48 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ralph, Jesus did not have wheels.

Other simpson religious references:

Granpa: What is it? A Unitarian?!

---

Homer: It's time like this I wish I was a religious man

Lovejoy: It's all over people! We don't have a prayer!

---

Bart: What Religion are you?

Homer: You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life. Uh... Christianity

---

Rod and Tod: Daddy says dice are wicked, so we just move one space at a time

---

Rod and Tod: Yeah! Judgment Day!!!

---

Homer: 'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.

---

Lovejoy: We've also got Unitarian Ice Cream!

Lisa: There's nothing there.

Lovejoy: Exactly.

---

Superintendant Chalmers: That sounded like a prayer... A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls!!!

---

Tod: Lies make baby Jesus cry.

---

Wiggum to Ned: Where's your messiah now?

---

Homer to Lovejoy: Now I know I haven't been the best Christian. In fact, when you're up there yak-yak-yakking, I'm usually either sleeping or mentally undressing the female parishioners...

[ December 02, 2001: Message edited by: meades ]


From: Sault Ste. Marie | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
QuikSilver
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posted 03 December 2001 11:10 PM      Profile for QuikSilver     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
--------------------------------------------------------
Ralph Wiggum: Daddy, I'm so scared I can't even wet my pants.

Chief Wiggum : Just relax son..it'll come
--------------------------------------------------------

Marge: Chief Wiggum our son's been kidnapped.

Chief Wiggum: What!!!!?? Man, can't you people take the law into your own hands once in awhile? We can't go around "policing" the whole city!!
-------------------------------------------------------

[ December 03, 2001: Message edited by: QuikSilver ]


From: Your Wildest Fantasies | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
NDB
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posted 04 December 2001 10:56 AM      Profile for NDB     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hail to the Chief!!!
_____________

Homer: You know, one day honest citizens in this town are going to stand up to you corrupt cops.

Chief Wiggum: Really, have they set a date yet?
_____________

Skinner: . . . and Ralph Wiggum with a flute up his nose.

[toot, toot, toot]

Chief Wiggum: That's some good flutin' boy.
______________

Bart: Take him away boys.

Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief around here! Bake him away toys.

Lou: What'd you say Chief?

Chief Wiggum: Just do what the boy said.


From: Ottawa | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
sherpafish
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posted 05 December 2001 01:17 AM      Profile for sherpafish   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Make no mistake Timmy. If a cow had the chance, he'd eat you and your entire family.

Queue dramatic 50's style education film soundtrack.

From: intra-crainial razor dust | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
NDB
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1234

posted 05 December 2001 01:34 PM      Profile for NDB     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ahhh, loving parents dolling out advice . . .

Homer: Kids are so naive. Lisa, when you get to be our age, you'll learn a few things, like when a sign says "Do not feed the bears," man, you better not feed the bears. [Displays how he became so wise as he holds up his arm revealing a small bear attached]

[ December 05, 2001: Message edited by: NDB ]


From: Ottawa | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
NDB
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posted 05 December 2001 01:37 PM      Profile for NDB     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was reminded of this line while reading another thread.

Nelson: Shoplifting's a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.

[ December 05, 2001: Message edited by: NDB ]


From: Ottawa | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
NDB
rabble-rouser
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posted 11 December 2001 11:24 AM      Profile for NDB     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
For earthmother . . .

Chief Wiggum: Looks like we got ourselves an old-fashioned car chase!

puts a tape in the tapedeck

Chief Wiggum singing now: Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows: everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together.
Brighter than a lucky penny; when you're near the rainclouds disappear and I feel fine . . .


From: Ottawa | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doug
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posted 11 December 2001 12:45 PM      Profile for Doug   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Speaking of bears:

Homer - "We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!"


From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trinitty
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posted 11 December 2001 01:47 PM      Profile for Trinitty     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Homer: "Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm."

Lisa: "That's specious reasoning, Dad."

Homer: "Thank you, honey."

Lisa: "By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away."

Homer: "Oh, how does it work?"

Lisa: "It doesn't."

Homer: "Uh-huh."

Lisa: "It's just a stupid rock."

Homer: "Uh-huh."

Lisa: "But I don't see any tigers around, do you?"

Homer: "Lisa, I want to buy your rock."


From: Europa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
marty raw
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posted 22 December 2001 12:06 AM      Profile for marty raw     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Rev. LoveJoy -

Ned, have you tried any of the orher major religions? They're pretty much all the same.

Moe the Bartender -

Ah, well. Looks like it's suicide again for me.


From: Toronto, baby | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged

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