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Author Topic: Lara Croft: Tomb Cranker
Babbler # 2878

posted 25 July 2003 02:56 PM      Profile for majorvictory     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life

Mr. Cranky's rating: (nuclear bomb)

An open letter to Sherry Lansing, CEO, Paramount Pictures:

I'm just curious as to how exactly you do business at your studio. Do you flip coins to see who writes the screenplays and directs the movies? Do you pull people off the street at random? Is the screenwriter's name, Dean Georgaris, an actual person or is that lab monkey #427? Really, if this guy is a real human being, I'd suggest you experiment with different mammals. They couldn't do any worse. The amazing thing about this screenplay, and I am absolutely not joking here, is that you could pull anybody off the street and they could easily write a screenplay this bad. Next time, just pick a homeless person to write the screenplay, feed him lunch, and you'll save yourself a ton of money and nobody will be the wiser.

And speaking of bad, you do realize that director Jan de Bont is already responsible for one of the worst sequels of all time, "Speed 2," right? Guess what? Now he's responsible for two of the worst sequels of all time. Jan couldn't direct himself out of an empty parking lot. I mean, why don't you see if this guy can successfully bring you a cup of coffee without spilling it all over the carpet before you give him another movie to direct? Seriously, see if he can do a good job cleaning your office toilet or something.

From: Toronto | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged

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