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A U.S. Christian group has grown tired of escalating gasoline prices and is set to stage a national prayer rally to lower the numbers at the pumps.

Various Christian clergy from around the country will convene around a Washington, D.C., gas station Thursday at noon to pray. For those who can't attend, a live Internet site and toll-free prayer line have been established.

In a release, the Pray Live group said many people are "overlooking the power of prayer when it comes to resolving this energy crisis."

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Here in a few succinct paragraphs is, in a nutshell, pretty much everything that is wrong with American society.

I mean, this could have been in The Onion and it would have made great satire. Truth is stranger and in this case more telling.

Absolutely amazing that Christians would pray for the accelerated depeletion of our national resources, the continued poisoning of the environment through carbon based emissions and the wasteful extravagance of motoring a mile down the road for a bag of cheeseburgers.

And to think that God would give a damn.

But, hell, we're Americans. We own a piece of God and he does what we want him to do. After all, he's been blessing us since 1776, right? And if we need that gas he can surely find ways to provide it to us - just give Bush the guidance on who to invade next.

It isn't just down in that continental insane asylum that people have a wierd relationship to hydrocarbon molecules. Up here too, people can't seem to grasp the fact that gasoline is a product (a by-product, actually) and that it is subject to the same corrupt market forces as beef or furniture. To many people, gasoline has a supernatural quality about it: its origins mysterious, its makers beyond the corporeal realm, and the marketplace as incomprehensible as Hieroglyphs (oh hell, these are north americans: Shakespeare in English is incomprehensible to most people here). Since the origins and distribution are beyond mere mortal understanding (like lightning, which is, if I correctly remember my science classes, angels bowling), then it makes perfect sense to pray for the intercession of your diety of choice.

If you are Catholic: Who is the Patron Saint of Hydrocarbons? Saint Benzene? And why are women saints patron saints, and not matron? It's not like Catholics are kinda rusty with their Latin. Not like those idiot college lefycommies women's fraternity. I know, nothing says "academic excellence' like the word fraternity, but is "sisterhood" such a terrible thing that they have to excise sorority from use? But I digress.

Here's Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert at an alternative energy photo-op:

Here's Dennis Hastert minutes after the photo-op, getting into a more comfortable SUV:

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Originally posted by Nanuq:
At least they aren't blaming high gas prices on feminists and homosexuals (yet).

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