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I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

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See:

Flying Spaghetti Monster (Wikipedia)

and

Flying Spaghetti Monster (Uncyclopedia)

which contains my personal favourite:

Also: Yes, I will absolutely, positively expect EVERYONE who insists on teaching ID as part of an "inclusive" curriculum to be inclusive of such deities as the Great Potato Chip.

All need fear the coming of the Time of the Great Diet.

[ 09 August 2005: Message edited by: Erstwhile ]

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Originally posted by rasmus raven:
Why do you assume that the Great Potato Chip is a He?

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Originally posted by thwap:
This should solve everything.

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Originally posted by Erstwhile:
Just make sure it's not a potato chip. They're tough to write on

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Oh ye of little faith.

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Originally posted by ronb:

Tremble ye before the chip of the lord.

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That looks like a certain stain on a certain type of paper, not a holy chip.

Oh yeah,

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That looks like a certain stain on a certain type of paper.

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I knew that right away; yes I did. I didn't want to say anything, because Satan was holding my tongue, but I recognised "The Holy Stain" right away.

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Originally posted by Erstwhile:
Okay, guys, let's not get into debating the finer points of Great Potato Chipism. You remember the "Pringle-type vs. Regular Potato Chips" argument that almost led to a schism, no?

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Ommitting that fact leads me to believe your theology on the ultimate disposition of my immortal, not to mention, crispy and delicious, soul is a little far-fetched, quite frankly.

[ 09 August 2005: Message edited by: Hinterland ]

In Purgatory, they're only regulars, and stale.

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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Many races believe that it was created by some sort of god, though the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI believe that the entire Universe was in fact sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure.

The Jatravartids... live in perpetual fear of the time they call the Coming of the Great White Handkerchief....

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[ 09 August 2005: Message edited by: obscurantist ]

So, like...I'm kind of like Jesus, right?

Edited: Magoo is Jesus; I guess I'm the anti-Christ.

[ 09 August 2005: Message edited by: Hinterland ]

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it spat it out.

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So did I, the next morning.

Oh, sorry. You said "spat".

And how about those freaky Yam chips and Cassava chips and Parsnip chips? What's up with those, huh? They're an abomination before the Chip!

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As a proud Corn-Chip worshipper, I feel like a Jewish kid in a 3rd grade Xmas pageant.

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"3rd-grade" being the operative word.

[exegesis]The unorthodox Tape does in fact mean "grade 3" but let's not denounce him as a heretic...yet. [/exegesis]

[ 09 August 2005: Message edited by: Hinterland ]

Yea, verily, i didst purchase a bag of "Sour Cream & Onion" ring-shaped objects. Of what substance I do not know.

But twas a big bag, and i'd not packed a lunch, and twas marked down to a $1.50.

Yes, yes, I was weak!

But I suffered! Good Chip how i suffered! No wonder the food was marked down!! T'was stale! In fact, so stale, that upon hitting my tongue, the first one dissolved into air, and the many artificial flavours and preservatives separated into their metallic-flavoured parts in that instant, filling my mouth with a rancid chemical flavour for the rest of the day.

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I got my money back.

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[ 09 August 2005: Message edited by: Hinterland ]

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Originally posted by Tape_342:
Listen to you all go on.

As a proud Corn-Chip worshipper, I feel like a Jewish kid in a 3rd grade Xmas pageant.

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See, it's not fair to do that right when I'm drinking a glass of water.

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Originally posted by Hinterland:
[exegesis]The unorthodox Tape does in fact mean "grade 3" but let's not denounce him as a heretic...yet. [/exegesis]

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[aside] I did consider Canuckizing it to read 'Grade 3,' but thought that would make it seem like I was trying to hide my status as a USian interloper.

...Burn him!

Too funny!! For the sake of the Potato Chip, might I suggest Potato Chip Poutine?

Oh and Hinterland, remember while in Hell that it is 10,000 degrees hot, and not one drop of water!

After all, would JC walk around naked without ketchup, vinegar and all manner of artifically induced flavours?

I think not.

But alas our saviour has already arrived in chip form last March.

Can YOU see Jesus in this potato chip?

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Originally posted by Stargazer:
Oh and Hinterland, remember while in Hell that it is 10,000 degrees hot, and not one drop of water!

Grap your speedo! Let's hit Hell's Beach.

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Originally posted by Erstwhile:
Whereas I am a Lay's preacher.

(Y'know, like "lay preacher"? Okay, that sucked.)

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By CAROLE GOLDBERG, Courant Staff Writer

Has the Flying Spaghetti Monster touched you with His Noodly Appendage? Bobby Henderson hopes so.

Henderson was honked off, to put it mildly, by those urging the teaching of Intelligent Design in high school science courses (as is being considered in Kansas), a position recently supported by President Bush.

After a 4 a.m. stroke of inspiration, the 25-year-old, who has a degree in physics from Oregon State University, conceived the Flying Spaghetti Monster as the fount of a new religion. Now, his parody deity is gaining eager adherents through the Internet.

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Originally posted by Panama Jack:
Proof at last ! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

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Actually, I gather pirates are a downright huge problem in the South China Sea and have been, if anything, growing in number over the last few decades.