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Topic: Sexuality and today's youth
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Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214
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posted 27 October 2007 09:33 AM
But if you do that, they'll not only grow to respect you, but love you and like you.And you'll never get them to move out. But seriously. My ex was strangely homophobic in our early years together. I say strangely, because she had a cousin that was openly gay, and she thought the world of him. Still does. I can never figure out that kind of bigotry. I had an uncle like that, in the States who detested black people. All black people. Except the ones he knew... I worked on the homophobia thing with her, because I didn't want my girls exposed to that, and I believe my ex isn't homophobic today. I think the clincher was when I came across statistics of gay teen suicides, and showed them to her. I said that, in the case of one or more of our girls happening to be gay, I didn't want them thinking one of their parents loathed them. At the same time, I remember telling my two older girls that I wouldn't care if they were gay. As it turns out, two eldest from my first marriage are hetero. As she is in most things, my youngest tends to be enigmatic. I think she is more of the generation that onetwothreefourfivesixseven describes.
From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001
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1234567
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 14443
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posted 27 October 2007 10:01 AM
Actually, I borrowed from someone who borrowed it from someone who borrowed.....We parents of adult children are passing that gem around to everyone we know. It's been spreading like wildfire.... It's one of the few perks, if the only perk of living in a puritan continant like north america...I doubt it would work in Europe. [ 27 October 2007: Message edited by: 1234567 ]
From: speak up, even if your voice shakes | Registered: Aug 2007
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bigcitygal
Volunteer Moderator
Babbler # 8938
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posted 28 October 2007 10:29 AM
[thread drift] 123, although I understand your point, there are many times when this is not true. POC with anglo names, who speak with the "right" "Canadian accent" are assumed to be white. We know this because of how we're spoken to over the phone, versus when people meet us in person. Also, some of us are what can be best described as "racially ambiguous". We get squinted at, heads cocked, and asked "What are you?" constantly. If we can avoid comparing different oppressions that would be lovely. And I know many queers who have been disowned and abandoned by family and friends when they came out. The "love" that "loved ones" had felt for them was not able to transcend their queerness. It's very hurtful. [/thread drift] As to the topic, young people these days are much less uptight about labels for sexual orientation, and hopefully they will laugh at any of us oldtimers (over age 30 I guess) who cling to homophobia and heterosexism. And that's fine by me.
From: It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent - Q | Registered: Apr 2005
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oldgoat
Moderator
Babbler # 1130
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posted 30 October 2007 02:11 PM
At my daughters high school it's a lot easier to be out than I'm sure it was a generation ago, but I'm guessing there are a lot of schools where it isn't the case. We moved so she could attend the place.It's not an issue for same sex couples to attend dances or the formal prom and stuff. Just up the street from us is the Catholic school that made headlines a while back for forbidding this. At the Catholic school though, IIRC it was the administration that had the problem, and not so much the students. Last year my daughter did a day of silence thing at her school on her own. Most people didn't really get it because I think it's more of an American thing. she explained it to her teachers in advance and they were all cool with it. some people thought she was comining out which gave her a bit of a chuckle, and she's let them think whatever they want. [ 30 October 2007: Message edited by: oldgoat ]
From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001
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Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560
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posted 30 October 2007 02:52 PM
I can't even imagine anyone having been "out" when I was in high school. The only time anyone talked about anyone being "gay" was with malicious whispers about some person or other (and looking back, I can only think of two people who had that rumour spread about them - one of them I'm almost positive it wasn't true, and the other, I'm not sure). At the time, because homosexuality was so far off my radar, I think I just assumed it wasn't true, although I didn't have any problem with it in general. I think I thought it was just one of those things that happens sometimes "out there" but not to anyone I know. A very heterosexist way of looking at the world, but unconscious because of lack of exposure to anything different.Race was the same way. I think I only encountered maybe two or three Black kids during my entire elementary and high school years, having grown up in almost completely white suburban and rural areas. Not too many other people of colour or people of other religions either. With the weird result being that now, when I look back, I realize that so-and-so was probably Jewish, or even possibly some other religion (!), or so-and-so was perhaps of Hispanic or Arab or Indigenous background (or of mixed background perhaps), but it never occurred to me at the time that they were anything but white. They were just white people who "tan well". Because my whole world was white, and I just sort of assumed that everyone else was too, even if they weren't. I think, in Women's studies lingo, that's referred to as "white solipsism" - seeing everything around you as white, even when it's not, and seeing white as the standard. Same with heteronormativity, where everyone's assumed to be straight, unless they say otherwise.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001
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Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560
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posted 30 October 2007 06:27 PM
Yeah. I remember a couple of girls went to the prom together because neither of them had boyfriends and there was no rule against it (although I think it was because it was clear they were not going as a "couple"). I heard a few snide remarks about it and a rumour about one of the girls who did it, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't true in her case - it was just the usual social sanction that happens to people who "break the rules". The rules, of course, aren't just about being gay or straight. It's also about whether you "count" by having a boyfriend or girlfriend. "Single" girls didn't have the same status as girls with boyfriends, and most of the organized social activities at school were aimed at heterosexual coupling: dances, formals, proms, etc. Singles could go to formal dances, but they weren't REALLY welcome. And since everyone else is paired up (and it's usually the kind of event where you're paired up with the person you're dating or want to start dating), who do you dance with? I have very good memories of my one and only prom, for which I had a date. But I didn't go to my "senior" prom because I didn't have a date - the guy I was seeing at the time wasn't in high school, and wasn't into it. Just as well. Without a date, it would've been boring anyhow.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001
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