I'd say joke, but it's hard to be sure given what we hear from the religious right.

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Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets;

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[ 22 July 2003: Message edited by: LocoMoto ]

Unless they're a clever parody by Landover Baptist as well, a parody of the type of people who would oppose them and demand that they be shut down.

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So do Creation Science Fairs have the stock "volcano" erupting with baking soda?

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And I fear that the new generation will be a bunch of real sharp scientists! Consider this winning experiment:

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Elementary School Level

1st Place: "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A
Monkey)"

Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.

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I did my grade seven (or eight) science fair project on creationism. I managed to get a D and what I now recognize as some evasive maneuvers from the markers because it was readily apparent I didn't do what was asked of me, ie. prove an assertion.

And I worked so hard writing up all those pages that apparently proved Creationism.

Jesus H. Christ:

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The 2001 Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair was held on April 16th and great fun was had by all in attendance. Fellowship is proud to be host to one of the largest Creation Science Fairs in the country, this year we had over 200 students present their projects. This is also the first year that Muslim students from the Al-Jannah Islamic school have been invited to participate; two of their students presented a project on human anatomy entitled "Allah (SWT) Created Me" which, while it was found ineligible for a prize due to a number of Biblical inconsistencies, did win a special Interfaith Outreach ribbon.

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[ 23 July 2003: Message edited by: clockwork ]

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...wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

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And this gem made a big splash in the computer press:

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the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.

But is this really such a shock? Lets look for a moment at Apple Computers. Founded by long haired hippies, this company has consistently supported 60's counter-cultural "values"2. But there are even darker undertones to this company than most are aware of. Consider the name of the company and its logo: an apple with a bite taken out of it. This is clearly a reference to the Fall, when Adam and Eve were tempted with an apple3 by the serpent. It is now Apple Computers offering us temptation, thereby aligning themselves with the forces of darkness4.

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But they have done a good job of avoiding the hoaxbusters (snopes, etc.). I suspect Michelle's nailed it:

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Unless they're a clever parody by Landover Baptist as well, a parody of the type of people who would oppose them and demand that they be shut down.

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[ 23 July 2003: Message edited by: LocoMoto ]

But still, so much work has obviously gone into it, the links, everything... The blond guy figures they're wonky-but-genuine.

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Honorable Mention:

"God Made Kitty" - Sally Reister (grade 3)
"The Bible Says Creation" - Aaron Kent (grade 5)
"Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False" - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)

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Why did they never teach me the Pokemon paradox when I was in school?

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"Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire" - Tom Williamson (grade 12)

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[ 23 July 2003: Message edited by: Mycroft ]

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Hello, nice to see you all again.

Now, as the more perceptive of you have probably realised by now, this is Hell, and I am the Devil. Good evening. You can call me Toby, if you like - we try and keep things informal here, as well as infernal. That's just a little joke.

Now, you're all here for eternity, which I hardly need tell you is a sod of a long time, so you get to know everyone pretty well by the end, but for now I'm going to have to split you up into groups. Are there any questions? Yes?

Um, no, I'm afraid we don't have any toilets... if you'd read your Bible you would have seen that it was damnation without relief. So, if you didn't go before you came then I'm afraid you're not going to enjoy yourself very much... but then, I believe that's the idea.

Right, let's split you up then. WILL YOU STOP SCREAMING! Thank you.

Can you all hear me still?
CAN YOU HEAR ME AT THE RACK?

All right, off we go...

Murderers, over here. Looters and pillagers - over there please, thieves if you could join them, and bank managers...

Fornicators, if you could step forward - my God there are a lot of you. Could I split you up into adulterers and the rest? Male adulterers if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine there.

Okay...

Americans, are you here? Look, I'm sorry about this, apparently God had some fracas with your founding fathers and damned the entire race into perpetuity. He sends particular condolences to the Mormons who He realises put in a lot of work. That's the way the wafer crumbles. The Iranians, I'm afraid, can't be with us - someone's been holding them in purgatory for about nine months.

Em... the French, are you here? If you could just like to come down here with the Germans. I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about.

Sodomites, over there against the wall.

Atheists! Atheists? Over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of charlies.

Okay, and Christians! Christians? Ah yes, I'm sorry, I'm afraid the Jews were right.

Okay, Moonies, maniacs, marmite eaters, male models, masochists, mass murderers and masseurs, if you could take a pew at the back - with the Methodists that is.

Now, you're the lot who used to kill whales, is that right? Ah, yes, I must remember - I've got some strips to tear off you bastards later.

Everyone who saw Monty Python's "Life of Brian" - I'm afraid He can't take a joke after all.

Alright now, one final thing. We're trying to implement some kind of exchange scheme with the Lord God Almighty, or Cliff as we know him. Some of you will travel up and have a decade in heaven and we're having some angels down here. Now, I hardly need tell you that in heaven you will be expected to behave in an exemplary manner, so I hope you will do the exact opposite - tear off their wings, use their haloes for frisbee practice, that sort of thing.

Well, I have to go now, unfortunately, but Beelzebub here will show you the ropes ... and the chains, and electrodes.

I'd just like to leave you with a favorite joke of mine, if I may. Quite apt to the circumstances, I think. It goes something like this:

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Death.

Death wh...!

Okay. Well, it's over to you, Adolf! And I'll catch you all later at the barbecue. Bye!

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[ 23 July 2003: Message edited by: Mycroft ]

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It is now Apple Computers offering us temptation, thereby aligning themselves with the forces of darkness4.

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exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

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Our little friend refers to the Bible text that says that Eve was created from Adam's rib. "Exegetics" means "exegegis", or the teasing of meanings from a text, often a holy text.

In this case, though, there are two competing Bible texts; in one, the woman comes from the man's rib, and is thus created secondarily. In the other, it says: "Man and woman created he them." Everyone from Hannah Arendt on down says this text refers to simultaneous creation.

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Originally posted by Sisyphus:
Hey Michelle, what's the difference? I have a hazy idea that, at least in the US, the term "Baptist" comprises not only some of the most ignorant, intolerant of Protestants, but also some the the most progressive and thoughtful.

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Fellowship Baptist and Convention Baptist are two different denominations. Convention Baptist Churches, at least in Canada, are pretty much the most liberal mainstream sect of Baptists. Fellowship Baptists are (or at least used to be, I'm sure not much has changed) much more conservative. For instance, I'm not sure if this has changed, but as recently as a decade ago, Fellowship Baptists did not ordain women, and I'm willing to bet they still don't. Just checked their web site but it doesn't say anywhere on it what their position on that is now.

Convention Baptists in Canada (supposedly) uphold the equality of men and women, believe (supposedly) in the priesthood of all believers, and (supposedly) believe in soul liberty, which basically means that each individual has the right to pursue his or her own faith, has the right to forge their own relationship with God without any intermediaries, and, within the context of Christian belief, to be afforded the right to follow our own conscience in the interpretation of scripture although it might disagree with the interpretations that other people come up with.

I say "supposedly" because I have been deeply disillusioned by my experience of how the Baptist church I was involved with upholds these principles.

However, you are right - many of the Baptists I have met have been some of the most socially conscious, wonderful people I've ever met. I still have some good friends who attend my old church, and many like me who left, but who, unlike me, did not lose their faith on top of it all. But I just cannot belong to a church, even one with some good people in it, that turns a blind eye to its own systemic and institutionalized bigotry and anti-intellectualism disguised as piety. Can't do it.

[ 23 July 2003: Message edited by: Michelle ]

[ 23 July 2003: Message edited by: Snuckles ]

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because if it actually made sense without amazing leaps in logic and reasoning, it would be a major breakthrough worhty of furhter study.

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[ 24 July 2003: Message edited by: DrConway ]

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I believe true science is a way to learn more about God and ourselves.

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Originally posted by LocoMoto:
Is this for real or is it a joke?

I'd say joke, but it's hard to be sure given what we hear from the religious right.

[ 22 July 2003: Message edited by: LocoMoto ]

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Yeah, I've had it, but just seeing it is a prize in itself. Keep watching.