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Originally posted by Brian White:
Theory three. Men are pigs. (But there is no apparent advantage to sleepy males in this scheme of things.)

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So there was time for a little chat and reflection. It was so civilized. But now everyone is pure, and the downside of being pure is that it is boring, so people just fall asleep.

Or you know...Perhaps the dude's mind and body are relieved at that point and he can't help but fall asleep.

1) Orgasm causes the release of oxytocin in both sexes. This is essentially the breastfeeding hormone; it makes the female (mother) want to cuddle and bond, while it lulls the male (child) to sleep.

2) Orgasm depletes the muscles of glycogen which is needed for energy. The difference in reaction between the sexes is that i) men generally have more muscle mass than women and hence feel more drained; and ii) women reach orgasm less frequently or less quickly than their male counterparts (of course, this exacerbates the problem of the snoozing male)

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Originally posted by Fidel:
Just be careful which part of you wakes up first. Sometimes you'll find a 125 pound dynamo bouncing away and getting a jump on the situation.

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(You both fall asleep?)

(If not, then wha ...?)

I often feel like getting up and walking around.

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Originally posted by thwap:
It's a non-issue for gay men because why?

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IF (and that's a big "if") the presupposition is true that all men prefer to fall asleep and all women prefer a post-coital cuddle, then gay men can both happily fall asleep and lesbians can happily cuddle and bond the night away. No conflict of biological tendencies.

Having said that, I haven't noticed the "men prefer sleep" theory to be generally true. I, for one, never seem to want a post-coital nap. I usually need to run back to work before the end of my lunch break ...

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The cigarette theory: Back in the olden days, everyone smoked after sex.

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[old one]

"Do you smoke after sex?"

"I don't know, I've never checked."

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Originally posted by Stereo Type:
(ba-dum-tsch)

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And don't forget to show your appreciation to the little ladies who set up the straight lines.

I am sure some women would rather he fell asleep after instead of constantly seeking reassurance of his virility. For others, if he has fallen asleep its good indication he is not the screw and run type. Whereas, she may well be the screw and run type so his falling asleep spares her any awkward goodbyes. Perhaps he is experiencing a diabetic coma or a narcoleptic nap.

The fact he falls asleep may say a lot about the woman as well. Was she such a demanding sex machine that all his energy was sucked out of him? Or is she so boring that falling sleep is an inevtiable consequence of being with her? Is he a person who is working 18 hour days to maintain that cozy bed they use and having sex with her is the only way he can get some sleep?

This questions and more will be answered in the next installment of "For Better or Worse".

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Originally posted by otter:
This questions and more will be answered in the next installment of "For Better or Worse".

Ultimately, each

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... each what?! Dammit, I hate how these serials always leave you hanging!

[ 27 February 2006: Message edited by: 'lance ]

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Originally posted by skdadl:
Yeah, that was good, otter. Keep going.

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What she said! Don't stop!

[ 27 February 2006: Message edited by: 'lance ]

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Originally posted by Stereo Type:
Oh, and just for the record ... this is a total non-issue for us homos. I just wanted to point that out.

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Originally posted by Crippled_Newsie:
You're obviously not in your 40s: us queer geezers sometimes fall asleep *during*.

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One of the advantages i have found in seniorhood is the ability to nap pretty much any time with no sex involved whatsoever.

btw, when I ....

[please tune in next post]

[ 27 February 2006: Message edited by: otter ]

Or maybe it's just too late at night.

Or maybe it's cause the guy is drunker.

[ 27 February 2006: Message edited by: ephemeral ]

comin' home right now baby.

Touch me baby
You sexy thing
You sexy thing

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Wish we had sex ed like that when we were kids.

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Not always a good idea. Who can forget the guy who, recalling his school sex education, would dutifully put a condom on his thumb every time and ended up with half the parents of the town gunning for him?

[ 27 February 2006: Message edited by: skeptikool ]

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Originally posted by otter:
btw... when i masturbate and then fall asleep right after... does it count if i talk to myself in my sleep?

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How. . . would you know if you did?

And no, I would think not. Unless you answer yourself.

Now this from Jacob two two:

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Well, the Toaists believed that ejactulation depleted one of vital essence, and they recommended doing it not more than once every three days or so, depending on your age. You could have sex as much as you liked, as long as you didn't "emit" every time. This conserved the male's energy.

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So General Ripper was really a Taoist? Who would have thought that?

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Ripper:

Nineteen hundred and forty six. Nineteen fortysix, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your postwar commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard core commie works.

Mandrake:

Jack... Jack, listen, tell me, ah... when did you first become, well, develop this theory.

Ripper:

Well, I ah, I I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.

Mandrake:

sighs fearfully

Ripper:

Yes a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I was able to interpret these feelings correctly: loss of essence.

Mandrake:

Yes...

Ripper:

I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women... women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.

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Men don't just immediately fall asleep, but talk of the differences between "Alabaster White Semigloss" and "Antique White Eggshell" have a narcoleptic effect on men.

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Many women have trouble coming from penetration for some reason. Maybe when they say they want to cuddle after sex, what they really want is some help, but they're too inhibited to ask.

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You could have sex as much as you liked, as long as you didn't "emit" every time.

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[ 27 February 2006: Message edited by: Sineed ]

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Originally posted by Sineed:
How does he know when he's finished?

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Originally posted by Sineed:
How does he know when he's finished?

[ 27 February 2006: Message edited by: Sineed ]

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Another pernicious generalization.

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Originally posted by Boom Boom:
For the man, it's like running the 300 meters in record time...

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Men fall asleep and snore (whether or not they have had sex). This, from the time of cave dwelling to condominium living, caused predators to tremble in their paws/boots at the mighty growls being emitted from a fearsome foe.

Once the intimidated would be predators fled, women universally thumped their men on the shoulder and hissed -- "roll over, you're snoring!"

Homosexual men -- born altruists, would perform this snoring function in the caves of multi-person parties.

Homosexual women -- born altruists with no need to curry the affection of men, would perform the function of thumping males on the shoulder and demanding they roll over.

Really, it's so simple if you just look into the "science".

[ 28 February 2006: Message edited by: siren ]

Theory 2: Men are pigs ^

*oooohhhh, I like this one!*

Anyhoo, my experiments don't bear this one out (though I am willing to continue this research! Funding would be appreciated *smile*). Rather, its a relatively even split between me/him/both being ridiculously tired afterwards, and me/him/both being energized afterwards. Part of it for me depends on time of day all of this takes place, as well as activity preceding, and, frankly, activity during. Some things take more energy than others.

Narcolpsy doesn't automatically take over a man post-orgasm (otherwise sex in the am, or at various points in the day, solo or accompanied, would pose more of a problem than I'm assured it does), and men don't always use more energy in sex than women (*offended harumph*).

Do you snore?

My partner tells me that I do, indeed, snore (he says its cute, and only when I'm really tired, but I am still alternately mortified and offended). No truck, which means all my Saskatchewan roots are rebelling against their nature.

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As well, I must say that, on purely scientific grounds, of course, I think this study is most effectively undertaken with a single partner. But I will pass your application on should I get any research associates.

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Originally posted by skeptikool:
Do you snore?

Do you own a truck? :-)

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This is coming back to me only through the mists of time, you understand, but I dimly recall that a lot of men have this odd early morning experience, which doesn't exactly correspond to almost anything so far complained about on this thread, much less any woman's ...

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I just don't know if SSHRC or NSERC would be more likely to be interested.

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It's not like their claim could ever be verified.

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It would be interesting to see if men who can orgasm without ejaculating are less likely to fall asleep after sex.

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nine consecutive deep breaths:

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Another analogy that helps explain multiple orgasms is that of climbing a tall mountain with several peaks. When you're almost within reach of the first peak, you hang out in an adjacent valley and feel the blessings of the high energy you've generated so far. You can use Tantric techniques to sustain your erection for as long as you want and, at the same time, connect more deeply with your love partner's heart and soul. At this first peak, you can have your first non-ejaculatory orgasm that involves the whole body. It's also called a Valley Orgasm. It's as though all the cells of your body are exploding with pleasure and excitement while the lingam (the penis) is still retaining most of its energy. It takes just a moment of concentration on the lingam for it to recharge even stronger than before.

After this invigorating rest you can resume the movement and the breathing that will bring you to the next peak, and then to yet another. The full-body orgasms get increasingly stronger until you reach the highest peak of the Himalayas. This lovemaking could culminate in the biggest, strongest orgasm that you've ever experienced. This is when you can go beyond your body to feel your connection with the whole cosmos. You then can really experience the feeling that you're not only a cell in the infinite universe but you also are the universe and can come back into your physical reality fully recharged and more at peace.

If after many such peaks you decide to ejaculate as well, Tantra recommends that you do that by taking the longest, deepest breath and then exhaling slowly, vocalizing your excitement while you're ejaculating. Tantric masters can prolong their ejaculations to last for nine consecutive deep breaths.

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P.S. WW, that sounds like an awful lot of work for something that's supposed to be a leisurely activity.

[ 02 March 2006: Message edited by: Michelle ]

[ 02 March 2006: Message edited by: Boom Boom ]

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Originally posted by otter:
The bed seems to be the problem here. No one is complaining about guys falling asleep on the kitchen table, or the hallway floor, or the backseat of the car, or behind the bushes in the park or any of the other places that men and women have sex.

Its only when the bed is involved that 'he falls asleep'. Ergo, don't have sex in bed....

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Golly, someone should start a thread about the most interesting places one has endeavored 'to explore strange new worlds.'

In a concrete 'tunnel' placed as play equipment on the playground of my elementary school.

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Originally posted by Fidel:

Just be careful which part of you wakes up first. Sometimes you'll find a 125 pound dynamo bouncing away and getting a jump on the situation.

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And then your eyes clear up and you realize it's your Golden Retriever...

(well, I've heard about it happening to other people...)

[ 03 March 2006: Message edited by: Ken Burch ]