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Author Topic: The worst 'gay' movie you've ever seen
Walker
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posted 15 February 2006 01:14 AM      Profile for Walker     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I nominate In and Out, especially because I thought Kevin Kline had some potential as an actor.
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Cueball
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posted 15 February 2006 05:24 AM      Profile for Cueball   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Platoon.

[ 15 February 2006: Message edited by: Cueball ]


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Hephaestion
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posted 15 February 2006 05:41 AM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Here's a still from the worst gay movie ever...


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thwap
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posted 15 February 2006 06:12 AM      Profile for thwap        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Can't Stop the Music" with the Village People, Bruce Jenner, and Valerie Perrine.
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Cueball
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posted 15 February 2006 06:15 AM      Profile for Cueball   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I saw the Village People. That was great Comodore Ballromo vancouver 1992.
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Reality. Bites.
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posted 15 February 2006 08:12 AM      Profile for Reality. Bites.        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Worst gay movie ever: Top Gun. Tom Cruise and Anthony Edwards had absolutely no sexual chemistry at all. Even Cruise and Kelly McGillis would have been more credible. They ruined this move by making Edwards his lover instead of Val Kilmer.

Runner-up: The Spongebob Squarepants movie. Billed as a great gay romance by many Christian critics, "Spongeback Mountain" was about as romantic as a silly kid's movie. I'm just hoping "Bi-curious George" will be better.


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thwap
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posted 15 February 2006 08:19 AM      Profile for thwap        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by RealityBites:
I'm just hoping "Bi-curious George" will be better.

I didn't know that lil' monkey swung both ways like that!


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lagatta
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posted 15 February 2006 09:46 AM      Profile for lagatta     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
There was a truly awful movie made (I did not see it, a gay friend of mine who reviewed it for Le Berdache, a Québec gay paper, did) a while back, I'd say about 15 years ago, about an opposite-sex couple, a gay man + a lesbian, who wind up falling in love and turning het (although he does the cooking, she the car repairs etc.) Does anyone here remember the name?
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anne cameron
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posted 15 February 2006 10:32 AM      Profile for anne cameron     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Some eminently forgettable piece of boring trash with Mirielle Hemingway who leaves her lesbian lover when she falls for a guy...there's this scene of Mirielle and the guy in the bathroom in front of the toilet with her pretending she is pee'ing like a man, seems it's something she always wanted to do........

or something

dreadful sick flick


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Crippled_Newsie
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posted 15 February 2006 12:04 PM      Profile for Crippled_Newsie     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by anne cameron:
Some eminently forgettable piece of boring trash with Mirielle Hemingway who leaves her lesbian lover when she falls for a guy...

Was that Personal Best? Or did Mariel play a lesbian more than once?

My nominee is Cruising, with Al Pacino as an undercover cover cop who loses himself in the leather scene while trying to catch a serial killer.

Runner-up would be No Way Out, for the bizarre plot-line that makes the bad guy not just gay, but also murderously obssessed with his str8 boss.


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thwap
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posted 15 February 2006 12:17 PM      Profile for thwap        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Super-Bomb Gigli where J-Lo's lesbian character can't help but turn hetero when in the presence of whatsisface, Ben Affleck.

(That's kinda why i put the Village People movie up here. I read in a book about bad movies how The Construction Worker Guy in the band has a "fantasy sequence" wherein his fantasy is a woman. Plus I heard the movie just stank.)

[ 15 February 2006: Message edited by: thwap ]


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Tommy Shanks
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posted 15 February 2006 01:23 PM      Profile for Tommy Shanks     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
My nominee is Cruising

Haha.

Way back, Dave Thomas on SCTV did a spoof of this called the "Cruising Gourmet" in which, while dressed in full leathers, he fist stuffed a chicken to some disco. I still can't believe it aired on TV back in the 80's (the 80's!), much less escaped network censorship.


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ronb
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posted 15 February 2006 02:03 PM      Profile for ronb     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'd have to go with The Birdcage. A few years later, Mike Nichols did such a brilliant job with Angels in America. Why he was so tone-deaf on this one is hard to fathom.
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F.
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posted 15 February 2006 02:30 PM      Profile for F.     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Depictions of gay characters in mainstream movies are generally quite crude, especially if you go back to the 1980's. Even so-called cutting edge films often resort to cringe-inducing stereotypes, such as Dean Stockwell's character in Blue Velvet.
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CWW
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posted 15 February 2006 03:55 PM      Profile for CWW     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The Birdcage... I agree. I guess it wasn't all that bad to watch but was overly ripe with the usual stereotypes.
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Crippled_Newsie
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posted 15 February 2006 03:57 PM      Profile for Crippled_Newsie     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by ronb:
A few years later, Mike Nichols did such a brilliant job with Angels in America. Why he was so tone-deaf on this one is hard to fathom.

I admit that, while I enjoyed Angels in America (oddly enough, especially Al Pacino's turn), and while I had the vague feeling throughout that it was an important piece, I didn't really understand it. It just went over my head, I think.


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Cueball
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posted 15 February 2006 03:58 PM      Profile for Cueball   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by F.:
Depictions of gay characters in mainstream movies are generally quite crude, especially if you go back to the 1980's. Even so-called cutting edge films often resort to cringe-inducing stereotypes, such as Dean Stockwell's character in Blue Velvet.


It is hard to tell with that. The mode of the film is cringe inducing stereotypes, it is his thing.


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siren
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posted 15 February 2006 06:15 PM      Profile for siren     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Tape_342:

I admit that, while I enjoyed Angels in America (oddly enough, especially Al Pacino's turn), and while I had the vague feeling throughout that it was an important piece, I didn't really understand it. It just went over my head, I think.


I thought Angels in America was great. It shone some real light on the horrid experience of living with AIDS in Reagan's America and was a real indictment of right wing politics. The female characters were exceptional with Emma Thompson and Meryl Streep leading the cast. It was also a very convoluted take on Mormonism and religious dogma in general.

Great HBO (?) production. However, I saw it all in once parcel at one sitting and could skip through the ads -- otherwise I think it would be terribly confusing it is so packed with symbology.

Since Tape already let TV in on the movie thread . . .

Worst gay TV show -- The L Word. I only watch it for Jennifer Beals.


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Crippled_Newsie
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posted 15 February 2006 06:54 PM      Profile for Crippled_Newsie     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by siren:
Since Tape already let TV in on the movie thread...

I didna! It was ronb.

But I will now: I hated the made-for-TV movie called 'The Matthew Shepard Story.

The entire thing was told from his mother's point of view. I know, I know, it was meant to connect with str8 audiences, not the homos, but it still made me livid.

By halfway through I was yelling at the TV, 'this is not about you!


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al-Qa'bong
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posted 15 February 2006 07:04 PM      Profile for al-Qa'bong   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The Odd Couple.
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lagatta
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posted 15 February 2006 07:17 PM      Profile for lagatta     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I've never seen the Hollywood Birdcage, but most of my gay friends here love La Cage aux folles. Sure, it deals in stereotypes, but the gay characters are deeply human, and the homophobic, right-wing politician is not only made out to be a pig, but gets his commupance. Take that, Jean-Marie Le Pen!

Why the Odd Couple? They aren't really gay, but the story deals with a same-sex household having the same problems as any other...


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al-Qa'bong
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posted 15 February 2006 07:18 PM      Profile for al-Qa'bong   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Oh, lags, yer such a pendant.
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lagatta
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posted 15 February 2006 07:19 PM      Profile for lagatta     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I have to do SOMETHING to do a living. A bit long in the tooth to be an atelier model. So we fall back on pendant.
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Reality. Bites.
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posted 15 February 2006 08:47 PM      Profile for Reality. Bites.        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by lagatta:
So we fall back on pendant.

That could be really painful depending on the shape.


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Sifo-Dyas
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posted 15 February 2006 09:26 PM      Profile for Sifo-Dyas     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Deleted

[ 22 May 2006: Message edited by: Sifo-Dyas ]


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Walker
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posted 15 February 2006 11:10 PM      Profile for Walker     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
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deBeauxOs
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posted 16 February 2006 12:08 AM      Profile for deBeauxOs     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The Aristocats ... It was just terrible, the way that Napoleon and Lafayette's relationship was kept in the closet.

[ 16 February 2006: Message edited by: deBeauxOs ]


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Walker
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posted 16 February 2006 12:43 AM      Profile for Walker     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hee hee.

Any of the Road to ... movies.

The smouldering sexual tension between Bob Hope and Bing Crosby was there, sure, but it was never played out realistically enough for me.

[ 16 February 2006: Message edited by: Walker ]


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clersal
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posted 16 February 2006 01:25 AM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Must not forget Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin.
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al-Qa'bong
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posted 16 February 2006 02:33 AM      Profile for al-Qa'bong   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 

The Gay Divorcée.


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Ken Burch
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posted 16 February 2006 02:48 AM      Profile for Ken Burch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
And of course we must'nt overlook the yearning subtext between Clark Gable and Charles Laughton in MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY.
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Carter
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posted 16 February 2006 04:21 AM      Profile for Carter        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Walker:
The smouldering sexual tension between Bob Hope and Bing Crosby was there, sure, but it was never played out realistically enough for me.
Oh no?


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Carter
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posted 16 February 2006 04:24 AM      Profile for Carter        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Not to mention this coy glance...


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Walker
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posted 16 February 2006 05:59 AM      Profile for Walker     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
OK, OK, I was young, I must have fallen asleep during the sex scenes bw. Crosby and Hope.

But I clearly remember the sexual chemistry bw. Abbott and Costello:


Who says Brokeack Mountain was the first gay cowboy movie??


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F.
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posted 16 February 2006 11:38 AM      Profile for F.     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
It is hard to tell with that. The mode of the film [Blue Velvet] is cringe inducing stereotypes, it is his [Lynch's] thing.

I watched the film again with this in mind; you make a good point, which is certainly backed up by the film. Strange how much you forget about a film when you haven't seen it for 20 years.


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Crippled_Newsie
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posted 16 February 2006 11:51 AM      Profile for Crippled_Newsie     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
And wither Lust in the Dust, with Tab Hunter and Divine?
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Ken Burch
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posted 16 February 2006 07:03 PM      Profile for Ken Burch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cueball:

It is hard to tell with that. The mode of the film is cringe inducing stereotypes, it is his thing.


In fact, I think Lynch's thing is to show the entire human race as cringe-inducing stereotypes.


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Ken Burch
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posted 16 February 2006 07:06 PM      Profile for Ken Burch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
If I could nominate a worst "gay" movie that I heard about but did not, in fact, see, it would be a TV movie on U.S. television sometime in the
Eighties called A DIFFERENT STORY. In it, a lesbian and a gay man got married and attempted to live a breeder lifestyle.

While this sounds like a setup for a really bad limerick or a series of tasteless jokes, the movie played it, if you'll pardon the cringe-inducing stereotyped cliche, "straight".

There are probably bootleg copies of this film being circulated among the newly elected Conservative MP's in Ottawa.

[ 16 February 2006: Message edited by: Ken Burch ]


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'lance
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posted 16 February 2006 07:18 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
In fact, I think Lynch's thing is to show the entire human race as cringe-inducing stereotypes.

Maybe, but not in the case of The Straight Story. Have you seen that? Very gentle movie (though nothing to do with sexuality, despite the title. It's about a real guy named Alvin Straight, played by Richard Farnsworth, but maybe the title's also a sort of self-mocking joke on Lynch's part. For once he does tell a simple, straight story).

There's a bad Spanish movie called Segunda piel (Second Skin) I saw a few years ago -- in fact, when the lovely and talented babbler andrean visited Calgary, she accompanied my wife and I to a screening at the Calgary Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. (andrean? You around? We miss you!)

Not having met andrean before, I started to cringe around a half-hour in, thinking: is this dreck going to ruin her visit, or at least her evening? (She took it in stride, and we all laughed about it over drinks later).

The IMDB capsule review is accurate. Well-filmed; otherwise excecrable. Apart from one or two graphic sex scenes, it could have been made in the 1950s, so overwrought was the "forbidden, doomed, tragic love" angle.

For that matter, with a line or two of re-written dialogue here and there, the filmmakers could have substituted a straight couple to the same effect.

quote:
I nominate In and Out, especially because I thought Kevin Kline had some potential as an actor.

I didn't see that one, but I still think he's good, or can be, in farcical comedy -- A Fish Called Wanda, e.g. That's not a put-down, either. It's not every actor that can do that. Most just come off as frantic.

[ 16 February 2006: Message edited by: 'lance ]


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Reality. Bites.
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posted 16 February 2006 07:25 PM      Profile for Reality. Bites.        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ken Burch:
If I could nominate a worst "gay" movie that I heard about but did not, in fact, see, it would be a TV movie on U.S. television sometime in the
Eighties called A DIFFERENT STORY.

That was a theatrical movie, despite starring Perry King and Meg Foster.


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Stargazer
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posted 16 February 2006 07:45 PM      Profile for Stargazer     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Summer Lovers was a good movie but bad in so many ways. For instance, Peter Gallagar looks amazing and he gets it on with both women, who apparently have no problem sharing him. What I didn't like was that their was clear sexual tension between Darryl Hannah's character and Valerie Quennessen's character, yet they never did a thing together! Very disappointing.
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Ken Burch
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posted 25 February 2006 04:04 PM      Profile for Ken Burch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by RealityBites:

That was a theatrical movie, despite starring Perry King and Meg Foster.


DEAR GOD, people PAID to watch that?


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Amy
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posted 25 February 2006 06:26 PM      Profile for Amy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I really, really didn't like Lost and Delirious. My roomate had to review it for a film class, so a bunch of us watched it at home, and man... bleh.
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CMOT Dibbler
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posted 27 February 2006 08:13 PM      Profile for CMOT Dibbler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I Heard the Mermaids Singing. Technically it wasn't a bad movie, the acting was lovely, and I liked the characters, I just couldn't understand what was going on half the time.
What did Paulie represent? I don't know.

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Walker
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posted 27 February 2006 09:36 PM      Profile for Walker     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:

I nominate In and Out, especially because I thought Kevin Kline had some potential as an actor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't see that one, but I still think he's good, or can be, in farcical comedy -- A Fish Called Wanda, e.g. That's not a put-down, either. It's not every actor that can do that. Most just come off as frantic.

quote:


This may give you an idea - quote from an IMDB message board:

quote:

This movie is funny, but I do have one major quibble with it.

At one part of the film, Kline and his students have a discussion about gay stereotypes. About how a person's interests or likes doesn't necessarily mean they are gay. (It doesn't mean they aren't either, but I think you get the point.) It's a very good scene and makes a great point. Then suddenly Kline comes out. His love of Streisand, etc. were all clues to his gayness after all. But wait, what about that earlier scene? Does Kline being gay now make the point of that discussion obsolete? If so, why even have the scene in there in the first place?

quote:


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andrean
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posted 27 February 2006 10:24 PM      Profile for andrean     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
There's a bad Spanish movie called Segunda piel (Second Skin) I saw a few years ago -- in fact, when the lovely and talented babbler andrean visited Calgary, she accompanied my wife and I to a screening at the Calgary Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. (andrean? You around? We miss you!)

Oh, 'lance, I'd forgotten all about that movie - perhaps blocked it from memory? (thanks for calling me "lovely and talented" - you're swell that way!)

But as dreadful as that movie was, it pales in comparison to a lesbian movie I recently saw, called "Girl Play". You may not believe it, but it was about girls, in a play! Shocking!


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'lance
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posted 27 February 2006 11:17 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by andrean:
But as dreadful as that movie was, it pales in comparison to a lesbian movie I recently saw, called "Girl Play". You may not believe it, but it was about girls, in a play! Shocking!

The Hell you say! What's it coming to, eh?

In retrospect I wonder if the Calgary festival (Fairytales) was having real trouble filling up their program that year, for some reason. Not only was that movie dreck, it was at least three years old by that point. I know it sometimes takes movies a good while to find distribution. But sometimes, too, there's a perfectly good reason for that.


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Screaming Lord Byron
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posted 28 February 2006 12:23 AM      Profile for Screaming Lord Byron     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by lagatta:
There was a truly awful movie made (I did not see it, a gay friend of mine who reviewed it for Le Berdache, a Québec gay paper, did) a while back, I'd say about 15 years ago, about an opposite-sex couple, a gay man + a lesbian, who wind up falling in love and turning het (although he does the cooking, she the car repairs etc.) Does anyone here remember the name?

Isn't that Betty Blue, or the like? It does ring some vague bell.


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kimmy
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posted 28 February 2006 01:37 PM      Profile for kimmy     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned "Showgirls," which is considered one of the worst movies ever, period, and so it must be among the worst gay movies ever.

Gina Gershon has come out of the closet, revealing that she is actually ...straight. Which is unfortunate, she says, as her lesbian roles have won her a fanbase: "I kinda wish I could be a lesbian. So many girls come up to me all the time, I keep thinking, ‘God, I should be a lesbian.’ But unfortunately, I’m straight."


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Stereo Type
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posted 28 February 2006 01:48 PM      Profile for Stereo Type     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
TV Movie Pick:

Uhm, "Prom Queen"?? I have respect for what Marc Hall did, but the movie was just terrible.

Straight-to-Video Pick:

"Latter Days". A sexually agressive gay party animal falls for a young Mormon missionary. Wow.


From: Toronto, ON | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
thwap
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5062

posted 28 February 2006 01:58 PM      Profile for thwap        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I just want to know if people think "Bottom Feeder" is a clever title AND/OR how many times do they think it's been used?
From: Hamilton | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged

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