babble home
rabble.ca - news for the rest of us
today's active topics


Post New Topic  Post A Reply
FAQ | Forum Home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» babble   » current events   » national news   » Sharks vs coconuts

Email this thread to someone!    
Author Topic: Sharks vs coconuts
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 01 September 2002 02:00 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I found this in the La Presse. It seems that in 2001, throughout the planet, there were 76 shark attacks, quite a few unconfirmed. Of this number, 5 deaths. For comparison sake, people are 15 times more likely to die each year from falling coconuts.

[ September 01, 2002: Message edited by: clersal ]


From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 01 September 2002 11:02 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I think you have given Peter Benchly a "new" idea for a novel.

This time, instead of a Shark stepping in for Melville's Great White Whale, it can be a genetically engineered coconut palm that takes root and fruits with "super sized" coconuts that rain down upon all, except one pure soul.

Ah you can call me Ish, or you can call me Mael, but yas don't have to call me Ishmael.....

[ September 01, 2002: Message edited by: Tommy_Paine ]


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 01 September 2002 11:10 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I think it would be a rather dull novel. It is far more interesting when someone is gnawed on than being bonked on the dead with a coconut.
From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 01 September 2002 11:13 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
But can't you see Gregory Peck saying "OH YE DAM-NED COCONUT!!!!!!!" in the movie version?

I say this story writes itself. Which is a good thing for Peter Benchly.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 01 September 2002 11:41 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
He couldn't say anything. He is dead. Remember the original story.
From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 01 September 2002 11:51 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Okay, so we go back to the movie version of "Moby Dick" and explain it away as just a Dream Ishmael had, and that Peck killed his damned whale.

Then, (and here's the good part) the ship sails through a rip in the space time continuem-thingy, and they appear twenty years in our future, where the malevolent spirit of Moby Dick has taken up residence in the genetically modified coconut palms with supersized killer fruit.

Next on Fox: "When good classic literature plots go bad."


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 01 September 2002 11:54 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hey! Why am I wasting all this on you guys?


GET ME GOLAN GLOBUS PRODUCTIONS, STAT!


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 01 September 2002 11:57 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT COCONUTS!!! DULL AND BORING. Just to add they are really just a big seed.

[ September 01, 2002: Message edited by: clersal ]


From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 02 September 2002 12:01 AM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
But everything else has been done. Ants? Ad nauseum. Bees? Take your pick of killer bee movies. Snakes? Spiders? Monkeys (both regular and supersized)

I mean, c'mon. Gamara for crisakes.

There's room for killer coconuts.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 02 September 2002 12:04 AM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Eureka!

The coconuts don't fall on people, they fall beside them then take root inside people! In fast motion!

Oh, now that's scary.

Forget Golan Globus, this is Spielbergworthy.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
Moderator
Babbler # 1130

posted 02 September 2002 12:27 AM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This has all already been done. Didn't you guys ever watch Gilligan's Island?

There was even a twist you missed. (later pulled from the series by the censors) It was when Ginger had *ahem* enhancement surgery done by the professor using coconuts.


From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 02 September 2002 12:47 AM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful ballot
That started from that tropic state
And stole the Presidency.

The mate was a mighty ailing man,
The skipper craven and unsure.
Five billion passengers set sail that day
For a four year tour, a four year tour.

The weather started getting rough,
Two towers tall were tossed,
If not for the media spin of the fearlfull crew
The President would be lost, the President would be lost.

The Presidency set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Afghanistan, And Iraq too,
The Saudis and their wives,
The movie stars:
Deniro and Heston,
Here on George W's Isle!


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pogo
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 2999

posted 02 September 2002 01:42 AM      Profile for Pogo   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
they are really just a big seed.

Demon Seed!


From: Richmond BC | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Arch Stanton
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 2356

posted 02 September 2002 02:47 AM      Profile for Arch Stanton     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Roll a bowl a penny a pitch.

Innocuous coconuts are really pod beings that attach themselves to unsuspecting tourists...

Too many mai tais, Mickey Finn...spies in grass skirts..submarines...sabotage...must warn crew...plot losing coherence...sub-plots taking over...

Skip - per!
Skip - per!


From: Borrioboola-Gha | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 02 September 2002 09:58 AM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A simple news blurb has done the babblers in.
From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 02 September 2002 10:43 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
ROTFL!!!!!

(That was for Dubya's Isle, btw)


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 02 September 2002 11:04 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Gregory Peck is dead?!?!?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ...


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 02 September 2002 11:22 AM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Oh yes, very dead. I don't think it was from a coconut or a shark. Ruins the statistics. Damn!

Whoops is it possible he isn't dead?


From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
Moderator
Babbler # 1130

posted 02 September 2002 03:24 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I just checked here Gregory has not yet left the building.

[ September 02, 2002: Message edited by: oldgoat ]


From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 02 September 2002 03:41 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Nope he hasn't. He could have though.
From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Arch Stanton
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 2356

posted 02 September 2002 03:43 PM      Profile for Arch Stanton     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yes indeed. Everyone's attachment to this mortal life is held with gossamer.

Just keep me away from those dat burned coconuts.

How about bananas? Are they a danger?


From: Borrioboola-Gha | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 02 September 2002 03:48 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Bananas? Well of course they are the most dangerous. You slip on the peel, better than the whole banana which is a bit yucky. You either slip under a coconut tree and get thoroughly bonked. Or you slip into the Blue Lagoon and get chomped by a shark. The lowly banana is behind it all.
From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 02 September 2002 10:01 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I remember back in the days of my innocent childhood. My (bear with me, this isn't easy) mother was partial to watching "Merv Griffin." It was prime after school reading time for me, and I managed to tune it all out.

Even Georgie Jessel.

(deep breath)

Then one day Merv did his rendition of "Yes, We Have No Bananas", and I was unable to keep my attention to the book before me. Merv, singing and dancing. He had....a...straw hat.....

......the horror.......the horror.....


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 02 September 2002 10:05 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Thread drift, thread drift!!!
From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 02 September 2002 10:08 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Not so.

The thread was about dangerous fruit, and if Merv Griffin doesn't qualify as such, then I'm a monkey's uncle.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 02 September 2002 10:13 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
To be precise. The thread was 'Sharks vs Coconuts'.
From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 02 September 2002 10:17 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I hate to be a pedant, but I will point out that the thread was about how coconuts, a fruit, were statistically more dangerous than sharks, a non fruit.

whop bop a loo bop a bing bang boom.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 02 September 2002 10:36 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
What if coconuts are nuts? Aha, gotcha.
From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 214

posted 02 September 2002 10:39 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I think if you consult a good book on botany, you will find coconuts are technically a fruit, ya nut.



From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Arch Stanton
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 2356

posted 02 September 2002 10:39 PM      Profile for Arch Stanton     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Serious thread drift....

Merv Griffin used to be a singer with the Freddy Martin Orchestra in the late 40s-early 50s.


"Managua, Nicaragua, what a wonderful spot
There's coffee and bananas and a temperature hot
So take a trip and on a ship go sailing away
Across the agua to Managua, Nicaragua, olé
Olé, olé
Across the agua to Managua, Nicaragua, olé"

Managua Nicaragua


From: Borrioboola-Gha | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
clersal
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 370

posted 02 September 2002 10:45 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I know for sure that a coconut is a drupe. Is it a fruit. Maybe it is a fruit and a nut? Okay okay it is a fruit. But it shouldn't be so there. It looks like a big nut.

I know for sure that a tomato is a fruit but we eat it like it is a vegetable. We call it a vegetable. It sits with the vegetables. It acts like a vegetable. So a coconut acts like a nut. So there.

[ September 02, 2002: Message edited by: clersal ]


From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged

All times are Pacific Time  

Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | rabble.ca | Policy Statement

Copyright 2001-2008 rabble.ca