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Author Topic: Excuses for calling in sick
Américain Égalitaire
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 7911

posted 18 April 2005 10:53 AM      Profile for Américain Égalitaire   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Well here I am at home today and the streak is broken. Since I started this job 16 months ago I had not called in sick. In fact, I have not called in sick since 2001. Today I did.

My wife inadvertantly took my car keys to work with her. I took it as a sign. I called in with a migraine, which I get.

Now of course, I just can't sit here and babble from home all day. An instant laundry list of housework materializes in my head replete with laundry and a good mopping of the floors.

Its also my son's 16th birthday and I can do a little more "house prep" for him today than I otherwise could have. We're going to his favourite Japanese restaurant this evening to celebrate.

And my story for Saturday, thanks to coverage of the pope, was bumped previously. Its done and sits ready.

Taken all that into consideration, plus the beautiful spring sunshine and warm temps today and all the birds singing out the window, I though, why argue with fate?

But I have to admit, having my wife make off with the car keys is a new one. Anyone got any other good "reasons" previously used?

Maybe getting ready for the babble birthday party tonight that I can't go to (if I had one wish besides world peace it would be for a 24 hour use of a private jet today).

Anyway, enjoy. Take pictures and post them for all of us who can't make it. Now I have some floors to scrub.


From: Chardon, Ohio USA | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
Doug
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 44

posted 18 April 2005 11:10 AM      Profile for Doug   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Food poisoning is a good one. Sudden onset, often gone by the next day. Perfect for mental health days.
From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Scott Piatkowski
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1299

posted 18 April 2005 11:46 AM      Profile for Scott Piatkowski   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When I need a mental health day, I say that I need a mental health day. But, I realize that most employers aren't as open to that as mine have been.
From: Kitchener-Waterloo | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Hegemo
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5176

posted 18 April 2005 12:35 PM      Profile for The Hegemo   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When I was in high school, my mother made me stay home from school to feed one of our cats baby food through an eye-dropper because she was sick at the time and not eating. I can't remember what we told the school was the reason for my absence...but the cat lived another 11-12 years after that.
From: The Persistent Vegetative States of America | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
No Yards
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Babbler # 4169

posted 18 April 2005 12:47 PM      Profile for No Yards   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I person I used to work with was famous at our company for off-beat excuses, so off-beat in fact that his boss just gave up questioning the excuses and just accepted that the enterainment value if the excuses was worth the missing manpower.

We kept a list, but since I left there almost 9 years ago I no longer have the list, but here are some of the ones I recall:

@ Had to fly to Montreal to see his brother who had somehow gotten himself painted blue by a hooker!

@ Attacked by a ninja.

@ Playing chess in a bar, and some black guy mistook his comment on a black piece for a racial insult and pounded the crap out of him.

@ Couldn't make it across the street to catch the streetcar because of the St. Patrick Day Parade.

@ I forget the exact words, but we called it "the Bard excuse": "I am but a mound of shakey flesh and not the man I used to be" (after a night of drinking.)

@ Treed by a bear

@ Treed by a cougar

@ Cops kicked my door down

I wish I had kept a copy of the list ... it had reached nearly 100 original excuses, and not one of them the boring old excuse.


From: Defending traditional marriage since June 28, 2005 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Mr. Magoo
guilty-pleasure
Babbler # 3469

posted 18 April 2005 12:50 PM      Profile for Mr. Magoo   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
If you don't want any questions or hassles, tell them you have a big open sore on your penis. If you're a woman, tell them you're experiencing "Uncontrollable Menstruation".

"Uh, no problem. You take as long as you need..."


From: ø¤°`°¤ø,¸_¸,ø¤°`°¤ø,¸_¸,ø¤°°¤ø,¸_¸,ø¤°°¤ø, | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Yukoner
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5787

posted 18 April 2005 01:13 PM      Profile for Yukoner   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was living in TO in the early 90's and a group of us would head to PEI every summer for Canada Day and a huge party. We left after work on Thursday and I was phoning in sick from the ferry terminal in NB.

My boss answered the phone, I was telling him how I wouldn't be in when all of a sudden the terminal public address system came to life:

Bing Bong Bing - The Princess of Acadia will be sailing....

I expected to be fired or at least disciplined upon arriving back at work.

Nothing was ever said.


From: Um, The Yukon. | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Reality. Bites.
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 6718

posted 18 April 2005 01:34 PM      Profile for Reality. Bites.        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Magoo:
If you don't want any questions or hassles, tell them you have a big open sore on your penis. If you're a woman, tell them you're experiencing "Uncontrollable Menstruation".

Transsexuals (as well as anyone else) can always depend on that old stand-by, projectile vomiting.

Should you ever need to prove it, staring at this picture for a minute should be sufficient to induce a bout.


From: Gone for good | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
Yukoner
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5787

posted 18 April 2005 02:04 PM      Profile for Yukoner   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
It looks like 'bunny eyes' is touching himself.
From: Um, The Yukon. | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Hinterland
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Babbler # 4014

posted 18 April 2005 02:06 PM      Profile for Hinterland        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yes, Belinda is just off-camera, hissing..."Stephen, don't hold yourself there...you're meeting the President."
From: Québec/Ontario | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Yukoner
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5787

posted 18 April 2005 02:10 PM      Profile for Yukoner   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Hinterland:
Yes, Belinda is just off-camera, hissing..."Stephen, don't hold yourself there...you're meeting the President."

Either that of she is wishing that she was the meat in their sammich.


/coat


From: Um, The Yukon. | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
rob.leblanc
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 2475

posted 18 April 2005 03:25 PM      Profile for rob.leblanc     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I recall telling my boss that I couldn't come in to work that day because I had to go back in time and fight in the war of 1812 to make sure that there was still a Canada for his office to be in. He wasn't really impressed when I told him he should be thanking me and in fact, giving me a RAISE for not showing up that day. Still, he did laugh and give me the courtesy of NOT firing me.
From: Where am I? Where are YOU? | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
'lance
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 1064

posted 18 April 2005 03:38 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I love the list No Yards posted, but I especially like the War of 1812 excuse.

Sadly, I've never come up with any creative reason for taking a day off. But I've just logged on to my company's electronic time-sheet system (don't ask), and it tells me I have available

(X amount).640 hours of vacation time and
(Y amount).470 hours of sick time available.

0.640 hours amounts to 38.4 minutes, while 0.470 is 28.2 minutes.

So either the system or its programmers is creative in some way. So I think I should be too, godsdammit.


From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Reality. Bites.
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 6718

posted 18 April 2005 04:03 PM      Profile for Reality. Bites.        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Yukoner:
It looks like 'bunny eyes' is touching himself.

You just cut the projectile vomit inducing time from a minute to 30 seconds.


From: Gone for good | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
blacklisted
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8572

posted 18 April 2005 04:26 PM      Profile for blacklisted     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
that's a great reason-i just saw stephen harper with a dick in each hand. and now i AM sick.
From: nelson,bc | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
Américain Égalitaire
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 7911

posted 18 April 2005 05:31 PM      Profile for Américain Égalitaire   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Any picture of Bush is nausea inducing.

Well its been a productive day at home, five loads of laundry and complete dust bunny patrol of all the wooden floors, vaccuuming of the rugs, a sweep and double mop of the kitchen and dining area, dusting of almost all of the furniture and scrubbing of the bathroom tub.

I just sit here and stare at it all. Damn if I know why a clean house makes me feel so content.

Not bad for a guy with a migraine

Eric got home and I put out his cake with the "1" and ther "6" candles on it. He had a pretty good day and I'm looking forward to dinner tonight at Osaka - last time he spoke rudimentary Japanese with the chef - I think he knows a lot more now.


From: Chardon, Ohio USA | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
EL Corazon
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8849

posted 08 May 2005 10:17 PM      Profile for EL Corazon     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I can't take credit for this but it's a good one.My boss called me into his office to be a witness to a phone call.He said "I told Peter that unless he has an excuse I haven't heard before he's fired, an I need a witness.
Peter-"hi,boss. I won't be able to make it in today".
Boss-And why not?
Peter- You won't believe this
Boss- probably not
Peter- Well I was in bed and then WHAM my house was hit by a meteor. Now I have a six foot hole in the roof.
Boss(trying not to laugh) Ok fix your roof see you Monday.
Boss to me- Damn it. never heard of the meteor defense. Pete's good. Real good.

From: Ontario | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged

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