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Author Topic: Create your own religion
disobedient
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 2915

posted 04 November 2002 03:17 PM      Profile for disobedient     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
http://www.cryptoclast.org/Opinion/religion/create/index.htm


New Religion Creation
'New Testament'

To her husband's surprise the Virgin Disobedient was pregnant with child. Fortunately for Virgin Disobedient, an angel explained that her child was Arch Stanton Christ, the world's lord and Bus Driver, the glorious Mother of God. At his birth angels told shepherds in the field to follow a shining toilet to find him. Also, three kinky goats came bearing gifts of thermometers and candles. Yea verily, and it came to pass, after Arch Stanton Christ was baptized by being submerged in tires he gave the sermon on the theatre. At the sermon on the theatre Arch Stanton Christ taught: Blessed are the stupid for they shall splash the running shoes, and stinky are the irritating for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Arch Stanton Christ also performed many miracles such as when he turned books into cats at his friend's wedding, and made the fluffy man not so fluffy.Unfortunately the rulers became angry with the influence of Arch Stanton Christ, So they sodomized him with a water bottle . But someday he will return in magnificent glory... So tithe and watch your back!!

[ November 04, 2002: Message edited by: Jesus Christ ]

[ November 04, 2002: Message edited by: Allah ]

[ November 04, 2002: Message edited by: disobedient ]


From: Ontario | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
SamL
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 2199

posted 03 May 2003 08:41 PM      Profile for SamL     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
[ November 04, 2002: Message edited by: Jesus Christ ]

[ November 04, 2002: Message edited by: Allah ]

?????


From: Cambridge, MA | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 04 May 2003 02:06 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
New Religion Creation
'New Testament'

To her husband's surprise the Virgin Bill was pregnant with child. Fortunately for Virgin Bill, an angel explained that her child was Susie Christ, the world's lord and stripper, the glorious aunt of God. At his birth angels told shepherds in the field to follow a shining bean to find him. Also, three silly cows came bearing gifts of vacuums and books. Yea verily, and it came to pass, after Susie Christ was baptized by being submerged in curtains he gave the sermon on the brassiere. At the sermon on the brassiere Susie Christ taught: Blessed are the bellicose for they shall blow the sheep, and interesting are the sexual for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Susie Christ also performed many miracles such as when he turned answers into freaks at his friend's wedding, and made the bestial man not so bestial.Unfortunately the rulers became angry with the influence of Susie Christ, So they carried him around a door . But someday he will return in magnificent glory... So tithe and watch your back!!


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Debra
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 117

posted 04 May 2003 08:44 AM      Profile for Debra   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
From the most wonderous regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of William Wallace, bringing to you the wisdom and Scotland of the lost city of Aberdeen. To usher in the New Age of Celts you must heed my words and dancing high. The time is soon when the space bikes of our galactic cousins will return and our collective colourfulness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the leg chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd arm shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner woman. We must feel the inner woman, become the inner woman, skipping it like it was a child. We must accept our karmic past, and as our yogi master, Rhiannon, always says 'The true form of a goddess is actually a saucy chipmunk , but enlightenment is like a happy bird on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no home or anti-home, only one great and omnipresent Friday.
From: The only difference between graffiti & philosophy is the word fuck... | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged

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