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Author Topic: Poo
Sine Ziegler
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Babbler # 225

posted 25 July 2002 01:35 PM      Profile for Sine Ziegler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ok.. I might be going on a limb here but who cares...

Does anyone else find toilet humour aboslutely the FUNNIEST thing ever? I know I am one of the few women who finds it amusing discussing bodily functions.


From: Calgary | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
meades
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 625

posted 25 July 2002 01:40 PM      Profile for meades     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm trying my damndest not to burst out laughing right now. No more checking babble from the office for me...
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Apemantus
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Babbler # 1845

posted 25 July 2002 01:42 PM      Profile for Apemantus        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
PAARRRRRRPP!
From: Brighton, UK | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
markhoffchaney
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Babbler # 817

posted 25 July 2002 03:08 PM      Profile for markhoffchaney     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My wife asked me just last week, "why do little boys think that farts are funny?"

I answered, "Because they are."

I don't think she was amused.


From: winnipeg | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Ziegler
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Babbler # 225

posted 25 July 2002 03:50 PM      Profile for Sine Ziegler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
They just are! I have never NOT laughed at a fart. Even comedy films now have been incorporating more toilet homour in their stories.

ie.
Van Wilder
American Pie


From: Calgary | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
markhoffchaney
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Babbler # 817

posted 25 July 2002 04:06 PM      Profile for markhoffchaney     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I worry that they may be becoming over used, and my joy may as a result, dissipate.
From: winnipeg | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
paxamillion
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Babbler # 2836

posted 25 July 2002 04:30 PM      Profile for paxamillion   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My brother used to refer to them as "skirt burps" and "trouser coughs."
From: the process of recovery | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
markhoffchaney
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Babbler # 817

posted 25 July 2002 04:33 PM      Profile for markhoffchaney     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I like the "fart sack" for bed or sleeping bag.
From: winnipeg | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
clersal
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Babbler # 370

posted 25 July 2002 05:19 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Blazing Saddles had quite a fart scene.
From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Ziegler
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Babbler # 225

posted 25 July 2002 05:24 PM      Profile for Sine Ziegler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
How come some farts smell like egg/sulfur and others smell like ... tacos?

I got a story my ex bf told me.

He was in his last year of high school and it was the class before lunch. He let out a SBD, and his friend behin him said " Mmm I am getting hungry. I can smell the tacos from the cafeteria already and can barely contain myself."

He said " You smell my fart you idiot!"

hahaha HAHAHA Hahahha


From: Calgary | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trinitty
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Babbler # 826

posted 25 July 2002 05:47 PM      Profile for Trinitty     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I like it when my sisters fart at the kitchen table on Christmas, and jump out of their chairs looking scared. It's no in me, but they do it all the time.

Eddie Murphy's stand-up about pooping is pretty funny.


From: Europa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Remark's
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posted 29 July 2002 11:47 PM      Profile for Remark's     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Pfffft is funny silently in an elevator with suits.

I'm surprised that the other kinda farts have not been refered to here.


From: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
disobedient
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Babbler # 2915

posted 30 July 2002 03:14 PM      Profile for disobedient     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Noooo. not the other OTHER kind of fart.

You guys would love a coworker of mine. I swear, he saves them up til we go outside on a coffee break and he can let them reverberate off the picnic table. He always looks shocked, and when we all shriek and run away he exclaims, "You guys didn't hear that did you???"


From: Ontario | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
GOD
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Babbler # 2781

posted 30 July 2002 03:31 PM      Profile for GOD     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
That's the sort of mood I was in the day I designed baboon's butts.

Edited to add: BTW, what do you think thunder is?

[ July 30, 2002: Message edited by: GOD ]


From: I think therefore you are. | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Scout
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Babbler # 1595

posted 30 July 2002 03:44 PM      Profile for Scout     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The funniest is my dog when she farts. She looks at her bum and then gets up and walks away. She looks quite put out by the noise and the smell but doesn't seem to get it that she is the stinker. It cracks me up everytime.
From: Toronto, ON Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
dee
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Babbler # 983

posted 30 July 2002 03:54 PM      Profile for dee     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hee. My friend's dog used to like to sleep in the front entrance to their house. When he was gassy he would come into the living room where everyone else was, let it go, and go back to his spot to sleep. Now that was a smart dog!
From: pleasant, unemotional conversation aids digestion | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
flotsom
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Babbler # 2832

posted 30 July 2002 04:05 PM      Profile for flotsom   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
While we drift into dogland, now is as good a time as any, to bring up Jessie the St Bernard.

Jessie can say, in a clearly audible articulation "I want some."

He knows when to say it too, which is whenever there is any food around.

I defy anyone to remain on their feet after making direct contact with his lonesome brown eyes only to then hear Jessie voice his exclaimation.

"I want some."

[ July 30, 2002: Message edited by: flotsom ]


From: the flop | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
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Babbler # 1130

posted 30 July 2002 05:29 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
And the number 1 reason for the state of the NDP in Alberta is.....
From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Ziegler
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Babbler # 225

posted 30 July 2002 05:31 PM      Profile for Sine Ziegler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
All the cow poop resulting from Alberta beef.
From: Calgary | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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Babbler # 560

posted 30 July 2002 07:24 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
George Carlin used to do an amusing bit on blaming the dog for your farts. But you have to be there for it to be funny.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
xanthist
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Babbler # 2923

posted 31 July 2002 08:36 AM      Profile for xanthist     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Flash back to my child hood!
I’m the younger sister of 2 older brothers (one is 5 years older the other is 7 years older). For a short time the boys had to share a double bed, I think I was about 5 at the time. They would drag me out of my room, stuff me between them in the double bed and pull the blankets up over my head and have farting competitions, my role was as the judge! The bastards!

They also used me as the subject for sundry scientific experiments such as;

‘Will the ingredients of the chemistry set make her sick or kill her?’ (Yes, very sick but not quite dead as you can see)

‘Punch her in the guts to see if the guys in the movies could actually get up and continue fighting after receiving said punch?’ (Incidentally, no you can’t)

‘Will some one really suffocate if you hold a plastic bag over her head?’ (Good job Mother caught them that time or I would have expired I’m sure)


From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 31 July 2002 10:44 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
For most of my life (except a brief period where I invented a pretend brother), I've been pretty grateful to be an only child. This is one of those moments where I'm especially grateful.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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Babbler # 214

posted 31 July 2002 11:14 AM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm not much a one for bathroom humour. I was watching one of the Austin Powers movies, and the scene where they followed the homing device inplanted into "Fat Bastard" had me looking away and wishing I had surfed to something else. The next scene where Austin Powers drank the sample has left emotional scars on me.

I never really have farted in my life. Okay, a couple of times, a little bit.

I avoid oat cereals, or anything to do with oats because I'll get sulfurous gas that, I assure you, is not in the least bit funny.

I hate, absolutely hate those times when you are in company, relax a bit and your body betrays you with a noisy, surprise fart.

Most fun I've had with a fart? laying in bed with my then wife, on a cold winter night. I farted, then lifted the covers with my leg, drawing air in like a bellows. When I lowered my leg, the air was expelled in the only direction the blankets would allow, that being where our heads poked out from under the covers.

You know, high intellectual humour like that, and the woman still left me.

Go figure.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 31 July 2002 12:02 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm not really into potty humour either. It doesn't do much for me.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
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Babbler # 478

posted 31 July 2002 12:56 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The gentlest and prettiest and most sweetly loving of my cats, the wee Ollie, a little butterball, is also exceedingly flatulent.

According to the vet, there's nothing wrong with her or unusual about her condition.

But it is noticeable. Whenever she jumps into my lap, there's a WHIFFFFFFF goes by my nose. If I pick her up the wrong way, if she jumps anywhere and lands hard, if her aggressive brother is chasing her around too much and gets her cornered, if anything surprises her ... WHIFFFFFFF. It's sort of dear, actually.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
xanthist
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Babbler # 2923

posted 31 July 2002 01:26 PM      Profile for xanthist     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Posted by Michelle;
quote:
For most of my life (except a brief period where I invented a pretend brother), I've been pretty grateful to be an only child. This is one of those moments where I'm especially grateful.

There are SO many more horror stories I could tell you! I'm just lucky that when my parent’s divorced and my father re-married a woman with five sons (all older than me AGAIN!) that I didn't have to live with them! "SHUDDERS!"


From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
dee
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Babbler # 983

posted 31 July 2002 01:34 PM      Profile for dee     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I don't really like contrived potty humour like that scene in Austin Powers either. And I never really understood why the boys in my grade 6 class thought fake farting and burping sounds were so funny either.

But those accidental *slips* can be absolutely hilarious!


From: pleasant, unemotional conversation aids digestion | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
Moderator
Babbler # 1130

posted 31 July 2002 01:42 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
I never really have farted in my life.

OK everybody, no smoking around Tommy! The man's a walking Hindenburg waiting to happen.


From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478

posted 31 July 2002 03:31 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Anybody up for a thread about maggots?

That would come under the heading of Icky-Nasty-Poo.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
Moderator
Babbler # 1130

posted 31 July 2002 03:54 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Anybody up for a thread about maggots?

Really Skdadl, we've discussed the Ontario Tory cabinet ad-infinitum


From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
'lance
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Babbler # 1064

posted 31 July 2002 04:06 PM      Profile for 'lance     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You're being rather hard on maggots, there, oldgoat. Consider that maggots at least (a) fill a necessary ecological niche and (b) grow and develop into something similarly important.
From: that enchanted place on the top of the Forest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
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Babbler # 1130

posted 31 July 2002 04:18 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You're right of course. My apologies to fetid carrion sucking spreaders of disease everywhere. My comparison was offensive and uncalled for, and I withdraw it without reservation.
From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trinitty
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Babbler # 826

posted 31 July 2002 04:23 PM      Profile for Trinitty     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
True about maggots. A horse at the equestrian camp I worked at was attacked by a cougar and had a huge gash in her chest, by the time we found her, she was weak, but alive, all because the maggots had taken up residence and get rid of the infected flesh.

Last year I watched my 34 year old uncle grab my 8 yearold niece's head, put it to his butt, farted, and continued on to the bar-b-que. I don't understand.


From: Europa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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Babbler # 214

posted 01 August 2002 11:08 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Maggots don't bother me too much. This time of year, with the city of London only collecting garbage in an "eight" day cycle (which translates to nine or ten days due to holidays) some garbage can get a little maggotty, even double bagged.

I just set it on the sidewalk, and let the sparrows and robins have a feast. They don't miss a one.


The farting on a girls head creeps me out more than maggots, to be honest.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
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Babbler # 1130

posted 01 August 2002 11:20 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
The farting on a girls head creeps me out more than maggots, to be honest.

Yeah, I sort of had it in the back of my head to post about that, but you know, a light thread and all...

That is the sort of behavior when coming from an uncle I would bookmark in my head, and be more vigilant. It is over controlling, shows an unhealthy disregard for personal bounderies, is disrespectful, (age notwithstanding) and generally creepy. I don't like uncles like that.

Good instincts Tommy.


From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Annex
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posted 14 August 2002 04:58 PM      Profile for Annex     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
mmm Poooooo
From: Mars Bar | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Trinitty
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posted 14 August 2002 05:28 PM      Profile for Trinitty     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Interesting that you bring that up.

My husband and I were bugged by it too. It happened in two seconds while he was walking past the picnic table, grab tilt, fart, release.

I know this uncle well, he's not a pervert or anything, he is just... juvenile I guess is the best word. As a child he used flatulence as a weapon and I suppose he hasn't grown out of it.

I didn't think it was funny.


From: Europa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trisha
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posted 14 August 2002 05:32 PM      Profile for Trisha     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A few years ago I was camping in a small trailer. My brother and family came to visit, five extra people plus the three of us were stuck inside during a very violent rainstorm. They brought their new, young kitten with them. This kitten couldn't take a step without farting and did they stink. We put her up on the back windowsill and opened the window, where she proceeded to march back and forth nonestop from one person to another, exuding her aroma with every step for over an hour. Even she was glad to get outside when the rain stopped. It was very funny while it was happening.
From: Thunder Bay, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 14 August 2002 09:05 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
That is creepy, Trinitty, and I would say it almost approaches assault - he couldn't possibly have thought that was loving or something the girl would think of as pleasurable the way many children find tickling or zerberts.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
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posted 14 August 2002 10:16 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Excuse me Michelle, but what may I ask is a zerbert?

I'll race ya to the silliest words I can think of thread.


From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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Babbler # 560

posted 14 August 2002 10:19 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A zerbert? I probably spelled it wrong, but anyhow...

It's where you blow a raspberry (without your tongue, just with your lips) against the bare skin of a kid's tummy. They love it! Well, mine does anyhow.


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
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posted 14 August 2002 10:26 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Cool! We just called them raspberries. The kids loved them. My significant other, when surprised by one, did not.
From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Ziegler
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posted 14 August 2002 11:33 PM      Profile for Sine Ziegler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Bah I don't think that move by the uncle was too bad, he is the uncle for goodness sake! Not some creep stranger! Uncles are supposed to be silly and funny and playful. Try to imagine your kid, and then your brother doing that to your 8 year old daughter. Big whoop.

Some of you people are massively protective.

Speaking of brothers - mine is 11 months older than me, and we used to share all kinds of toilet humour. I can't even describe it on here unless someone else goes first because I will look like a freak!!!


From: Calgary | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trinitty
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posted 15 August 2002 10:54 AM      Profile for Trinitty     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
No, please do 'Zine.

I never ever thought it was "creepy", I just didn't think it was funny because it was.... embarrassing for her I guess due to the age difference?

No need to worry, she farts at her cousins.

This must be a cousin thing. One of the funniest things I have seen was my husband come out of the bathroom, shutting the door quickly behind him. He casually called his cousin over (22 and 21) grabbed, him, shoved him in the bathroom and held the door. The cousins pounding pleads for release dramatically descended the door and finally fell silent.


From: Europa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jacques Hughes
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posted 15 August 2002 12:05 PM      Profile for Jacques Hughes     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I have a relative who is very near and dear to me who suffers from chronic flatulence. This horrid condition limited my relative's ability to succeed socially, academically and professionally.

Although many physicians and alternative medical practitioners were consulted, there was never an adequate solution that did not have side effects that dwarfed the original difficulty.

Not everyone breaks wind to win a big guffaw around the dining room table. Not everyone seeks such relief in a big budget Hollywood production. Some people are cursed to live a life that attracts only derision and jokes. It upsets me to point this out since I doubt any of you meant harm, but sometimes it is necessary to encourage others to be more sensitive.


From: corner of ego and te absolvo | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Ziegler
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Babbler # 225

posted 15 August 2002 05:12 PM      Profile for Sine Ziegler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Point take JH. Flatulence follies shouldn't be taken for granted.

mmmkkkaaayyy... my brother and I were so close that when we were like 3 and 4, we would show each other our masterpieces in the toilet. Once my brother had green poop and he came running out of the bathroom to find me so I could "come see!". Uh and that is as far as I will go.


From: Calgary | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Black Dog
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posted 15 August 2002 05:20 PM      Profile for Black Dog   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You want nasty? I gots two words for ya: Dutch Oven.
From: Vancouver | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michael Cust
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posted 15 August 2002 06:22 PM      Profile for Michael Cust     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When me and my cousin Chris were kids, my older cousin David would pin us down and fart in our faces. After which, he would rejoice is his victory as if he had won some great war. As kids we had always planned on getting him back, but we never did....
From: Edmonton, AB | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Ziegler
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Babbler # 225

posted 15 August 2002 06:30 PM      Profile for Sine Ziegler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
So?
From: Calgary | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michael Cust
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posted 15 August 2002 07:18 PM      Profile for Michael Cust     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
It was a short poo-related story my cousin and I used to laugh about. I thought the story was funny, so I shared it.
From: Edmonton, AB | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 15 August 2002 07:31 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Maybe she meant "so?" as in, "so what happened after that?"
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
audra trower williams
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posted 15 August 2002 10:28 PM      Profile for audra trower williams   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This thread gives me the embarassment cringes.
From: And I'm a look you in the eye for every bar of the chorus | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged

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