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Author Topic: What went wrong?
Babbler # 690

posted 18 July 2002 06:16 AM      Profile for clockwork     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was at my parents today and they wanted to get rid of a lot of the crap they have in the basement, four boxes of which belonged to me. So, like a good kid, I decided it would be proper if I took all the cheesy mementos that gets collected when you're young and cute, one piece of memorabilia of which I took was a scrap book containing all the stuff I did in grade school.

So in this book stuffed in the Kindergarten section is my "printing" book, and I'm flipping through it. I got a smiley face for printing "God is good" properly. A star for "Jesus loves you". A checkmark for "God is good to me". A neat little sailboat stamp for "Give thanks to the Lord". Some stamp with a smiling monkey on roller skates for "I like knowing God best." Isn't this the type of stuff they do in those madrassas?

I rate my Christian upbringing a D-. I no longer believe that God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. But then my teacher in Grade 1 commented, "More consistency is necessary for optimal performance." And in Grade 2, my teacher notes, "[clockwork] is very slow completing assignments and does not like to do corrections." It's obvious my fall from grace was all my fault. After all, (from my April 3, 1984 report card) "[clockwork] continues to be shy and hesitant to perform tasks in front of others. ... [He] does not get really involved with his other classmates." Obviously God never choose me as one of his chosen ones.

Edited: I also have a certificate of membership for the Happy Snackers Club, of which I achieved lifetime membership for continuing to follow my Good Eating Habits. I didn't realize Pizza-Pizza, the chicken wings at the local watering hole and the copious amounts of Coke I drink qualified me for such a prestigious certificate (endorsed, no less, by the Medical Officer of Health!)

[ July 18, 2002: Message edited by: clockwork ]

From: Pokaroo! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged

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